Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Phantasm



Phantasm


In the days of my delirium
I stroked your phantom hair
gently back where it brushed
the deep ore seams of your brow,
crown of a life’s hard mining
for a fool and spirit king over
the boundless land of no dominions.
I traced the lines and lies of your jaw
as sharp, insinuative, as much a vehicle for
drugged response as any needle
and drifted flying on that wave, in
a megacosm beyond any freight
the day had brought me, 
loaded in her barrow of
dirt and dearth.

Even now your star shines high
soft and inarticulate as fur, its light a web
of hairthin silver spun over the bald world,
far above this quicklime field where ants and I
grunt out the elaborate cosmic prank
of one more day. When vision doubles,
my fever fixes on its irrational display, 
sailing insubstantial across a dark
temporal ocean, empyreal and seductive
as that resolution I can
never know, wavering with intermittent
incongruous compassion, a
wayward balloon blown high to pop 
on your tall stonehearted wall. 

Falling in a losing wind, I take
a last sip of dream,  just one;
tooled as an orchid’s convolution
rare as a black diamond,
sweeter than any drug.





May~June 2012


Posted for   OpenLinkNight   at dVerse Poets Pub





Images: Evening Star, by Camille Corot
Orchid, by Mikhail Vrubel
Public domain, via Wikipaintings.org


27 comments:

  1. "blown high to pop"! Yes, it is a balloon of course, but POP, as in "pop goes the weasel" gave me the light edge of this melancholy dream of delirium: The feeling of the insubstantial, ornate and pressing as phantom hair on the bald pate. Will the sip keep her alive and sane, I wonder? And in that wondering, "Phantasm" works for me.

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  2. ...where ants and I grunt out the elaborate cosmic prank...

    Have yet to hear a better line about day to day life--even from the noted philosophers!

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  3. nice...there is some delicious intimacy in that opening...i imagine two lovers laying next to each other just taking each other in with the eyes...the lies of the jaw...nice touch...the balloon pop on the wall another great touch...nice dream...smiles.

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  4. Beautiful writing...loved the flow & felt the sadness and poignancy in this.... "I take
    a last sip of dream, just one" ...Love can feel like delirium sometimes, for sure...enjoyed very much

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  5. love the last stanza, very good

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  6. A beautiful write...and I love this..Falling in a losing wind, I take
    a last sip of dream, just one;
    tooled as an orchid’s convolution
    rare as a black diamond,
    sweeter than any drug.

    Love it!

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  7. I loved the last stanza--just beautiful writing!

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  8. cool...that sounds surely sweeter than any drug..lots of strong images...fav lines were..
    crown of a life’s hard mining
    for a fool and spirit king over
    the boundless land of no dominions... that's just awesome...gives so much depth and carries it across boundaries...

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  9. Even when you're being grim, you do it so beautifully:

    "far above this quicklime field where ants and I
    grunt out the elaborate cosmic prank
    of one more day."

    The star reducing to a silly balloon is ingenious. Pop goes the world, and faint hope with it.

    But it is that ending that I like the most. Your endings are generally so strong, and that's as it should be...the body of a poem is the build up for what should be the payoff at the end, but it is much easier for Pedant Cat here to spout that or scribble on a blackboard, than to do it. You schooled my funky azz.

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  10. Your star shines high, soft and inarticulate as fur. Really like that amongst other lines, intimate and observational. So many amazing images created here,

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  11. Luscious, decadent - reminds me of Baudelaire - the imagery is so intricate, like fine lace

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  12. Lovely work Hedge ~ I specially like the strong images of the second stanza ~

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  13. there is a release in there, a letting go, and just a little sip, to linger and remember. my old teacher, mentor and good friend passed away a few weeks ago, and i was grateful to see him one more time. he didn't look old to me, or maybe that was just my memory playing tricks on me, the little sip that i will always remember. anyway...

    "Even now your star shines high
    soft and inarticulate as fur, its light a web
    of hairthin silver spun over the bald world,
    far above this quicklime field where ants and I
    grunt out the elaborate cosmic prank
    of one more day"

    very nice touch, really loved those lines, very well written and a moving read.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, wood. Always appreciate the personal insight, and I agree, that last sip is the essence, the benediction of the whole drink sometimes.

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  14. I love this, it is just filled with fabulous lines and imagery...
    loved these: "crown of a life’s hard mining
    for a fool and spirit king" and the ant, and that last stanza, oh my.

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  15. Your choice of words shakes my head in awe and wonder. Always you are the finest of writers...

    One could build a religion from this phrase alone:

    "...elaborate cosmic prank
    of one more day." Well, *I* could!
    PEACE!

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  16. Hedge, this is a masterpiece. Everything from imagery to the atmosphere you painted throughout and the atmosphere your words and reflective qualities built into and from those words paints that of the readers mind. Fantastic read. Thanks

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  17. I enjoyed this piece, thanks for sharing!

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  18. Just when I think I have read the ultimate poem of yours, you come along with another one that takes its place.

    Joy, this is a poem (to me) of letting go, of ultimate reality, so beautiful in its truthfulness. Deep into loss and love.
    But the shades of your imagery are far deeper than this above.

    There is a delicateness to this, but also an intertwining of grittiness....of the ultimate truths of life and stuff.

    "I take a last sip of dream"...that says it all, neh?

    Lady Nyo

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  19. hey hedge

    some kind of seductive element to this one for me hedge;
    the wonderful hit and suck of words pulled me in... any piece containing the word phantom has my ear but then it has to deliver...like here;

    as much a vehicle for
    drugged response as any needle

    soft and inarticulate as fur, its light a web
    of hairthin silver spun over the bald world,
    far above this quicklime field where ants and I
    grunt out the elaborate cosmic prank

    memorably class!
    cheers hedge

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  20. Last sip of dream before joining all us ants! Beautifully crafted. k.

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  21. the whole of it flows so beautifully - "my fever fixes on its irrational display"...love it all it is soft yet the questioning is sharp and poignant..thank you...bkm

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  22. "I take
    a last sip of dream,"...but it's hard to make it really the last sip. The intensest memories often do seem like delirium. This is a graceful and insightful look at memory, desire...all the things that most easily drive us crazy--things we can't keep from writing about. Very nice work.

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  23. There are so many lovelies in this piece. Here are a few:

    "In the days of my delirium
    I stroked your phantom hair"

    "traced the lines and lies of your jaw
    as sharp, insinuative, as much a vehicle for
    drugged response as any needle"

    "your star shines high
    soft and inarticulate as fur"

    "far above this quicklime field where ants and I
    grunt out the elaborate cosmic prank
    of one more day" (Amen to that. This is awesome!)

    "tooled as an orchid’s convolution
    rare as a black diamond,
    sweeter than any drug" (Exquisite ending.)

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  24. Final stanza excellent - all words wonderful.

    Anna :o]

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  25. My God, you can write. Every line of this is exquisite. Truly a masterpiece of imagery.

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'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg