Thursday, June 7, 2012

Transit of Venus

SDO's Ultra-high Definition View of 2012 Venus Transit - 171 Angstrom


Transit of Venus



Slowly as a frost stunned fly
walking on lemonade ice
black Venus crawls across
the great sun's face.
He twitches a helix of gaseous muscle
yet she is not so easily brushed off
on her jubilee promenade between
that burning heaviness and our green world,
her last flirt with those of us now alive
reserving the wine of her next communion
for another age of fools.

She'll take herself back
to that unbounded void of which
she is mistress, blushing shy at sunset,
then wearing her hard morning mask
glittering intermittent vacant promise, remote
and unconcerned in her comings and goings
as the love she rules,
inconstant in the darkness
as last year's lover;
a great display and then forever
gone in an hour's time.



June 2012
posted for   real toads
Challenge: Out of Standard
Izy's very creative challenge was to take your favorite break-up song and write something from a selected line which was *not* about the ending of a relationship. I'm not too sure this is actually fulfilling that goal, but it's the closest I could get. Here is my break-up song, from Joni Mitchell, and the line I've culled out and slightly altered comes from the first verse:




Image:SDO's Ultra-High Definition View of 2012 Venus Transit
by NASA Goddard Phot and Video, on flick'r
Shared under a Creative Commons License

18 comments:

  1. WOW
    O, WOW
    Both "Holy Wine" (I know all of the words.)
    and your poem, first each separately, then together.
    O, Venus!

    My favorite lines: "blushing shy at sunset,
    then wearing her hard morning mask
    glittering intermittent vacant promise"

    I love this poem--a brief candle in our universals--Brilliant!

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  2. oooooh i came *this* close to writing mine inspired by "All I Want." so much so that i'll probably still work on it. and this? is gorgeous. exactly as i have come to expect :)

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  3. Especially wonderful beginning here= a frost stunned fly my favorite kind, and really as vivid as Venus herself. I love Joni Mitchell but also ALSO Muddy Waters whom I once saw perform in a small bar ironically called Toad's Place.

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    1. There's only one Joni, and only one Muddy--I too have been privileged to see him, at Ma Bea's in Chicago many years ago. He brought down the house, and he was also quite the snappy dresser.

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  4. I seriously love your opening line, Hedge!!! Excellent offering and a great song, too! :)

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  5. He twitches a helix of gaseous muscle

    ...love the personification that....and what you did with her as well...some really great descriptors used....the blush and hard mask...

    last year's lover;
    a great display and then forever
    gone in an hour's time....mmm...nice close hedge....

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  6. This is amazing, love the poem, love the song love how you brought both together. Venus deserves such a poem as yours!

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  7. This is just brilliant and so current with your allusion to the diamond jubilee. This was such an extraordinary event and you captured a sense of the antiquity of planets and the fullness of time in your poem.

    In terms of the challenge, I think you hit the nail on the head.

    And the song is just so heart-renderingly sweet:
    I would drink a case of you, darling, still I would be on my feet..

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  8. Perfect timing! I love the personification here, and the metaphor of a lost relationship. I wish I could have seen her pass the moon. Did you?

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  9. A fitting description of the memorable event. You brought it out vividly alive. Great write, Joy!

    Hank

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  10. Joni Mitchel has a lovely voice ~ your voice is equally lovely.

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  11. Love this...Joni Mitchell's song and your words..what companions. what a treat to write of such a moment of Venus and the sun as lovers

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  12. Whew, you blew me away with this one! I could easily quote the whole thing, but this particular section is quite tantalizing, the seductive flirtation between Venus and the Sun, as well as Venus and ... everyone:

    "He twitches a helix of gaseous muscle
    yet she is not so easily brushed off
    on her jubilee promenade between
    that burning heaviness and our green world,
    her last flirt with those of us now alive
    reserving the wine of her next communion
    for another age of fools"

    "She'll take herself back" ... Just reading this line on its own, makes me think of a woman and her relationship with herself---the love/hate yo-yo, breaking up with herself but always taking herself back.

    Love the ending as well:
    "a great display and then forever
    gone in an hour's time"

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  13. thoroughly grooved here in Minneapolis. I think you embraced this challenge whole heartedly and wrote a masterful poem. I loved you sort of personifications and ...I must say, you have this way of using images then taking them to the next level. case in point:

    Slowly as a frost stunned fly
    walking on lemonade ice
    black Venus crawls

    that is a mighty mighty powerful start to this piece. It has me thinking of astronomy on another level...I was sorry to hear you were under weather, and I hope you are feeling better. Thanks for participating, Hedgey!

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    1. Thanks, Izy--this was a fun prompt. Glad you think I didn't get too far astray. (I'm all better today--sometimes I just overdo it because I think I'm still twenty-five.)

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  14. a frost stunned fly walking on lemonade ice. and then the next two lines. that's an entrance to a piece that at that point i am totally surrendering and falling into. her last flirt is only a piece of the personification that rings so true. you really make her come alive with this.

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  15. To me, "A Case Of You" is simply one of the best love songs ever. I've loved it ever since I first heard it.

    I realize you are probably referencing the tiresome Queen here, but I read that last section this way: I have known people over the years who are really good with the big gesture, but day to day they fail. The day to day is harder, but richer, if less spectacular in any given moment.

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  16. Damn, Hedge. As you know, I've pretty much off the grid for several weeks. Coming back and reading your work is almost a shock. We take you for granted, you know. You are unbelievably talented, and we're lucky to know you when.

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'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg