Saturday, February 9, 2013

Rain In The Night



nature at war




Rain In The Night



I hear it raining, raining tonight
or is it the singing of water
that everything empty be filled,
effulgent, if only with tears?

High up comes the shadowy spinner
to wind up the wandering flood,
to weave away yesterday's orphans;
I hear it raining, raining tonight.

A storm sent to midwife disaster
turns the howl of the wind in its womb,
brings wildfire and blood to the birthing
or is it the singing of water

dropping in petticoats of ash
dappling the mirror faced border?
The lightning-struck bodies on fire
let everything empty be filled

thinking that which is broken and battered
can be smoothed into glimmering bits
shining rounded and faithfully polished,
if only by infinite tears.


~February 2013


Sargent Beach, Texas 1107091550





posted for   real toads

Sunday Mini-Challenge
I'm hosting today, for the second  and final part of my chained rhyme extravaganza. This time we're doing cascades. A cascade is a poem where each line of the first stanza serves in sequence as the last line of the following stanzas. For the full lowdown, follow the link above, to real toads.




Photos shared courtesy of Flick'r Creative Commons
Mouse-over for attribution, or click picture to go to the photographer's page.

34 comments:

  1. A storm sent to midwife disaster
    turns the howl of the wind in its womb,
    brings wildfire and blood to the birthing
    or is it the singing of water

    wow...what stanza that...chock full of imagery and energy...and that last one...the polishing but infinite tears....powerful verse hedge...

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  2. Goodness, Joy. You make it look like a snap, though I know that making a poem look easy is always the result of much hard work and close attention. Your first lines of all three middle stanzas are fresh and striking, and I can almost smell the ozone in the air. This is so impressive.

    You've thrown down the gauntlet, here, and I think I've got my work cut out for me!

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  3. Beautiful lines specially:

    or is it the singing of water

    dropping in petticoats of ash
    dappling the mirror faced border?

    The last verse is also a polished gem ~

    Thank you for the lovely form Hedge ~

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    Replies
    1. My pleasure, Grace. I enjoyed yours--very delicate and natural touch you brought to it.

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  4. the second and fourth stanzas really touch me deeply, amazing poetry

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  5. Yes, it's beautiful, Joy, and you manage to turn filling into emptiness and vice versa I actually thought that the fire one was quite beautiful though, the kicking through the cold ash. (I'm talking about the one on real toads.) What you do I think that's most masterful here is change the meaning of all the phrases into something that resonates with the first go-round but in the way of a kind of reverse echo. k.

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    1. Thanks, k. Yes, that's the approach I took, but doesn;t have to be that way. In your comment at Toads you mentioned it seemed a bit like a villanelle--I agree, a shorter, simpler sort of version, especially if you stick to three lines, with fewer rules. Thanks for reading--hope all is well in your neck of the woods.

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  6. I love both of your Cascade poems~ This is so power filled-I will have to try this again! I agree the echo feel cascades! And your ending is gorgeous~ Thank you so much, for sharing this form!

    Love these lines:
    "A storm sent to midwife disaster
    turns the howl of the wind in its womb,
    brings wildfire and blood to the birthing
    or is it the singing of water"

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    1. Thank you for your enthusiastic words, and your participation, Ella. I enjoy writing this form--I've written a lot of more of them than almost any other form, once I got looking. Hope you come back to it some day, too.

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  7. You have woven quite a complex piece here. Most impressive.

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  8. That third stanza is just electric! To me, it is so beautifully HERE that I am gnashing my teeth that I didn't write it.

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  9. So much wonderful imagery here! I love this form.

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  10. gosh, this is lovely and i don't mind the repetition at all. i guess i just need to get over myself! :)
    "effulgent" is such a fantastic word, well used here. and your third stanza, wow. fantastic.

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  11. Such a great form you challenged us with today. The last stanza is beautiful!

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  12. Wowza! Intensely beautiful! I, too, loved that same stanza as Brian and Ella. Great imagery.

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  13. This is beautiful ... love the music in this piece !!

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  14. Wow! Wow! Wow!

    What an entirely nourishing piece of poetry - this is food for the eye and the soul. Your opening stanza is profound in and of itself, and each successive stanza builds upon the image of rain and tears, through the literal and figurative, and drops a rounded stone in your reader's palm - the shared experience, the gem we get to take away with us.

    I must add how much I love your style, the flow of lines that were not bound by the four lined stanza, but poured down the page like water.

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    1. Thank you so much, Kerry. Your thoughtful comments are always deeply appreciated.

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  15. Wow, that is just beautiful! Thank you for sharing this lovely and heartfelt piece and for your great tutorial on the form :)

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  16. Your poem is incredibly beautiful ... 'I hear it raining, raining tonight' every line cascading from there. Thank you for this challenge, for the opportunity to 'stretch.'

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    1. My pleasure, Helen. It's good to stretch the brain--it's a muscle, right? At least mine is. ;_)

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  17. Love this--especially the last stanza. I am quite partial to good stormy rainy night.

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  18. WOW!!!!! So beautiful, in every way. Inspiring! Love the photos too, especially that blue glass in the rocks.

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  19. These are some amazing images you've chained together Joy. What power in this!

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  20. The second and third verses really speak to me...the whole piece is beautiful.

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  21. You think poetically on every level.
    I think satirically on every level.
    I rarely understand your imagry.
    But I can appreciate your genius.

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  22. water is abundant here. your cascade pours into itself and serves the world with healing...this is profound and remarkably beautiful, Hedge.

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  23. WOW is a common response but this particular wow had a certain lean to it, a tilt of emo edge . . . could just be my hormones but . . .

    this is an exciting read with real power and a sweeping rythmn and momen tum tum tum BUT its the great energy that gets me!

    also . . .

    at a glance
    I could easily switch off
    but your skill pulls me in then soars
    and the PO
    Invigorates and inspires

    and then even
    encourages a meloncholic reflection . . .

    thinking that which is broken and battered

    can be smoothed into glimmering bits

    shining rounded and faithfully polished,

    if only by infinite tears.


    I need a smoke! ;)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Arron--it's a bit pedestrian, but some places you can only get to on foot. Glad you enjoyed.

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  24. Por Fin, I am hear to read you, Joy Ann, and as always you never disappoint. This is lovely and that last stanza does hold a wallop. Beautifully done. I love cascades, but I am horrible at them.

    Pamela

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  25. The cadence, or the rhythm is good here, it fits in the mouth as all poetry should be read by the reader aloud.

    A storm sent to midwife disaster
    turns the howl of the wind in its womb,

    What I find in this poem, is that every line, not only stanza taken from the total poem, is a box of surprises...I read this poem slowly because it was rich in imagery...complex, layered never cheap or common.

    I think that is what draws (and confounds me at times) me to your verse. I slow down and contemplate each line.

    I also think your time and study of Wallace serves well...both in your understanding this very complex poet and the the influence he brings to your own work. I am struggling with Pound right now, and never thought I would like him....but I do. I also find him sane.

    Sorry for your health issues....this time can be doubling trying.

    Jane

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    1. What a coincidence, Jane. For years I've resisted Pound, but I was reading one of his last night that I quite liked and suddenly saw why everyone thinks he is such a major voice. Thanks for reading. Hope your writing is going well.

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'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg