Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Energy Flow



Cosmic Energy~Remedios Varo




 Energy Flow


We talk
as the light fails
as the tide ebbs
as the vein flattens.

each word
is a bead
is a lifeline
is a pebble

on a beach
on the moon
under the earth
within the golem.

Your face
is a bird
before it flies
is a firefly
before it blinks out.



~April 2013



posted for   real toads
Kerry's Wednesday Challenge: Existentialism





Image: Cosmic Energy, by Remedios Varo, may be under copyright. All copyright belongs to the copyright holders.




22 comments:

  1. This is fabulous, Hedge. Each word is a bead, and you have strung yours on an existential thread like a piece of abstract art.

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  2. Haven't . . . had . . . enough . . . coffee!

    Seriously, you've taken a tough prompt and responded perfectly. I wish that I had written this. It answers the question that you can't quite define.

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  3. nice! the golem line caught me by surprise, in a good way.

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  4. dang...those last two stanzas just come out of nowhere...particularly that last one...one i wish i had written hedge...a bird before it flies a firefly before it winks out....snap

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  5. The pacing of this is remarkable, as is the imagery in the final stanza. You owned this.

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  6. This is as good as poetry gets. Your last stanza is utterly brilliant.

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  7. You're writing beautifully; that's all I have to say. And - the line with the golem was a nice "ooh" moment.

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  8. .. 'as the vein flattens' ~ chilling.

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  9. Terrific. Another favorite. Spinning them out suits you. Of course, I particularly like the Golem and firefly. I have a thing for golems. (Based on Terry Pratchett.) But this is just beautiful. Each stanza catches this certain mood, moment, quintessential time, interstice. k.

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  10. This is one of those that I wish I had written--especially the last stanza--gorgeous writing--and somehow, for me, the brevity works so well with the prompt

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  11. Ah, the piled up experiences of the pregnant moment about to take flight

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  12. Oh, that final stanza is wonderful — it is outstanding in a poem that was already fine.
    K

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  13. No words. You embodied (or disembodied) the prompt. My eyes are wet. My heart is pounding.

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  14. We were both on the beach today, sort of. This is great, and...I should think of a better word than great, but at least you get the gist.

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  15. This is beautiful. All I could do was grieve when I wrote mine...this one makes me feel so joyful.

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  16. This is superb. Every line is a charmer. I felt quite disappointed to get to the end of it. (Wonderful image also.)

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  17. your use of prepositions here is very effective. The last stanza is especially beautiful to me, embodying dramatic energy flow with a suddenly unexplainable end. really wonderful and crisp.
    Reading your work is definitely helping me do the daily writing.

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  18. wonderful, this speaks to me of life altogeth




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  19. is a firefly
    before it blinks out.

    brilliant. I sat and thought about that line for a while after reading it... just lovely. It's like the last glimpse of my baby's face as the light turns off and the image is burned on the back of my retina and slowly fades. You want to hold on to it, but can't....

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    Replies
    1. Exactly. The memory is the glow left behind.

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'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg