Sunday, September 4, 2016

Left



"Don't you leave me here
don't you leave me here
but if you  must go sweet baby,
leave a dime for beer."




Left



The first time I was left
I was unborn
before I knew to flip myself
and swim upstream
to shadow's
shifting shelter in the reeds.

Leaving after leaving
set the hook,
so many hands to pull
 the finished fish out of the drink.
All that's left:
a  silver glimmer and a stink
among the weeds.



~September 2016






posted for   real toads


Flash 55 Plus 





 Optional Musical Accompaniment







Image: Golden Fishes in a Dark Sea, 2006, © Twins Seven Seven
Fair use.





13 comments:

  1. Love Jelly Roll; thank you. And love your fishy metaphors too, though I want them to be fictional.

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  2. The first time I was left
    I was unborn... oh, that seeped into my soul. Another 'wow' from me to you.

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  3. Somehow it is the form, here, that I love the best. Your line breaks, and the odd rhymes and near rhymes.

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  4. Ah, what a lovely flash of silver among the weeds. Like Shay, I too enjoy the line breaks - they provide a wonderful focus on the phrasing. Thanks for playing along.

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  5. I am thankful for the many hands that pulled the fish from the drink, after such a journey. A very powerful flash 55.

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  6. Somehow I start to think about the salmon that have spawned and just waiting to die... and it just begs to be read aloud

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  7. Such a sad mixture, the left and the leaving. Very thought provoking piece!

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  8. So much in such few words... The first thing I felt was bitterness, but then there was a hint of resolve, something that said, "I've done this once, and I can certainly swim through the shadows again." And then, then comes that ending "stink"...

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  9. The impression you've left on me...a stink among the weeds. It sticks.

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  10. all that's left's
    a silver glimmer and a stink
    among the weeds

    Appears to be nature's regret of having allowed a wonderful fish to be landed by the many anglers waiting for a bite! Great lines Joy!

    Hank

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  11. Congratulations. This grabbed hold of my feelings and toyed with them

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  12. You've immersed me unexpectedly into the life and cycle of the fish. This is so engaging and swift. A great construction within the 55.

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  13. now I'm going back through, listening to the tunes you post, and the pens you shared. I figured something was up when you didn't comment, but did like my post...

    I surely do miss Galen sometimes, especially reading this 55. ~

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'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg