Two Shadormas on Gloves
I.
You left your
gloves behind the day
you left me.
I put them
you left me.
I put them
on, wond'ring if this was the
best way to hold hands.
II.
Nature pairs
hands, gloves, wings, mates, eyes
to function.
Unpaired things
oppose--night, day, death, life--or
oppose--night, day, death, life--or
fall to randomness.
December 2010
The shadorma is a syllabic poem form, probably from Spain. It has six lines with a syllable pattern of 3/5/3/3/7/5 .
Posted for Magpie Tales #46
Uncredited photo provided by magpie tales removed
Also posted for Friday Flash Fiction 55 at G-man's
Uncredited photo provided by magpie tales removed
Also posted for Friday Flash Fiction 55 at G-man's
Awesome!
ReplyDeleteI'm learning so much.
I e-mailed you after your comment on my blog - I wish I had read this first then I could have added, I still have the glove, for the same reason as your first poem.
ReplyDeleteI love that second one!
ReplyDeleteWonderful. And I admire your ability to work within such a tight form. My brain glazes over just READING the syllabic count. Great writing.
ReplyDeleteAn interesting form, used to excellent effect here.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed reading these both so much, hedgewitch. Both are so elegant...like the gloves. Yes, it seems so many things in life come in twos...which makes me think of that song with the lyrics..."One is the loneliest number..."
ReplyDeletelove the contrasts...the first my favorite...a way to hold hands...really can feel that one....Happy New Year....glad to have met in 2010...looking forward to a great year...bkm
ReplyDeleteVery nice. Doubling up with a 55 and a very complex Magpie. Wow. Happy New Year.
ReplyDeletei like both! interesting form too.
ReplyDeletehappy new year!
I like both- but the first one pulls me
ReplyDeleteCrafty, making two shadorma (shadormas? shadormi?) into a 55.
ReplyDeleteThere are pairs that work together and pairs that don't
ReplyDeleteYour pair of Shadorma nicely done
Happy New Year!!!
Love both of them and I have learned a new word. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteYour Shadorma's ShaRocked!
ReplyDeleteI'll really give this a try.
Thanks for Your awesome input.
Have a Kick Ass 2011
I love this piece. I've never heard of this type of poem before. Very interesting!
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed both. This form is new to me as well.
ReplyDeleteWhen are ya gonna be my shadorma?
ReplyDeleteRemember The Knack? Oh wait, that was Sharona. But still.
I love the first, it draws me in... a way to hold hands. Nice. I love the challenge of poetic forms.
ReplyDeleteThanks all--except Fireblossom, because now I'm going around humming "muh-muh-muh-muh-MY shadorma..."
ReplyDeleteYeesh.
ooo these are great...i esp like the first one...great verse...
ReplyDeleteThey came out well.
ReplyDeleteNow see, this is why you are of the awesome and make me strive to do different things. Each one of those are CLEARLY divine and well done! Thanks hedge, you are awesome and fantastic as always!
ReplyDeleteJoy,
ReplyDeleteYou don't fail me. Your observations cut. Shadorma is a new form to me (mentioned over the past month on blogs). It's tight, like Japanese imports. While you may feel the syllabic crunch, you don't waste time 'getting to the chase'!
Trulyfool
Lovely poems. And thanks for a new poetic form to play with!
ReplyDeleteAnd a very good pairing you have written!
ReplyDeleteSuperb job!! Simply superb.
ReplyDeleteMine's posted, if you'd care to come visit. Happy New Year to you.
This is beautiful. Thanks for teaching me a new style of verse. Really well done.
ReplyDeleteThanks, always nice to learn about new
ReplyDeleteforms for poems!
Dear hedgewitch: Leaving the gloves behind, like dofting one's gloves may have Freudian implications! As this thwarted attempt to gather everything left behind leaves much to be analyzed as per the curmudgeon or should I say "crumudgeon"? How lovers try via flacid and febile attempts to keep alive what which once was and is now left forgotten not begotten as hopes of the once flourishing love life come to an abrupt halt once realization how futile the attempts to resurrect a dead relationship sets in. There are always those whose personal items who leave such a remembrance on the personage. These items, such as gloves, which get mulled over, hopelessly hugged until worn out, like an old teddy bear, are considered irreplacable items. Thus our obsession with things! When we finally realize the finality or the finiteness of a lost relationship we can give swift boot! Love how you compared so aptly the Pair and Pairing aspect which is synonymous with the lost and found of unpaired singularity. The lost glove. Love the shadormas!Will give this a "go" next magpie! Excellent!
ReplyDeleteInteresting poetic form. Beautiful job, Hedge!
ReplyDeleteI passed by earlier today, and couldn't wait to give it go. I was so eager to write one, I lost your URL before I could comment, and have had to search you out again in order to say thanks! LOL :)
ReplyDeletesimple yet powerful piece.
ReplyDeletehappy 2011.
thanks for the support of 2010.
How brave you are, and inventive.
ReplyDeleteThese pair of poems shine,
sprinkled with both creativity
and control, beauty in brevity.
I liked #2 best, and it conjured
up the Van Gogh painting
of boots.
You're very good
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting form. It must be challenging to write. The beauty of your pieces makes me want to try writing one. The two shadormas are good, but I especially liked the first one.
ReplyDelete