Crop Failure
The summer came and parched the cloves
The sun beat down, a drum of brass.
Before the locusts came in droves
the summer came and parched the cloves.
They parted then in a blighted grove,
divided, dried to blistered grass.
The summer came and parched the cloves.
The sun beat down, a drum of brass.
March 2011
A triolet.
Also posted for OneStopPoetry Form Monday at the inimitable OneStopPoetry
Great job Joy combining these two prompts especially with the garlic...excellent job the locusts and the brazen sun parting the cloves...nice triolet the cadence goes with the the theme....like a folk song out of the past...bkm
ReplyDeleteWow, two forms in one I'm very impressed! I think you've done this before! Iambs are rolling and sound natural and unforced, your refrains are seamless and repeated effectively! Great job!
ReplyDeleteI hope you enjoyed the form, and seeyou next week!
Reminds me of the locust attacks in the Midwest during the dust bowl days. Poor bastards would get a small crop to grow even though the drought was on then the great buzz would come and devour everything. They say even shovel handles were reduced to nothing.
ReplyDeleteYou just reminded me why I love Spring and don't love Summer. Nice cadence to your poem.
ReplyDeleteSo...I'm thinkin the sea monkeys didn't make it, either, right?
ReplyDeletePraying for a new crop..can't cook without garlic..loved this!!
ReplyDeleteBlighted grove indeed! thanks. you can surely feel the heat and dry-
ReplyDeletecan hear the drums and see the light of that blind colour of the brass and sun.
ReplyDeleteAnother astounding piece, HW!
Your cloves are doing just fine Thank You....
ReplyDeleteAnother fantastic piece, hedgewitch.
ReplyDeleteThanks all. The garlic speaks.
ReplyDelete@Shan Glad you found the form in order--iambic tet is pretty easy for me, its extending it to pentameter that always throws me. You did a great job explaining triolet--a pleasure to read and write to.
@FB No, the locusts obviously ate the sea monkeys.
@G-Man: Yeah, the cloves are great, it's the head I worry about.
@twm : yes, that's very much the image I had in mind--I've been in some modern day dust storms here, very mild compared to back then, and they are a voracious,scary thing.
The refrains are perfect! I really like this.
ReplyDeleteReally lovely write. That repetition of that form works so well here. Love the sun as 'drum of brass'
ReplyDeleteI should probably mention that I read this excellent mag linked below by the ever amazing Fireblossom, and somehow her locusts invaded my triolet--so tip of the hat to FB and if you haven't read it, you're missing a definite pleasure:
ReplyDeletehttp://fireblossom-wordgarden.blogspot.com/2011/03/nightwing.html
Wonderfully done!
ReplyDeleteI really like how we get so many ideas out of one photo. Everyone interpreting it differently.
viscous time
Great take on the theme- thankfully locusts aren't a common feature- not as common- I mean :)
ReplyDeleteHugs xx
A triolet was the perfect form to encompass the feel of the separate cloves that make up a garlic bulb.
ReplyDeleteFireblossom slays me...
ReplyDeleteplant the garlic on the shortest day of the year
maybe that'll help
It seems to evoke the coming loss. I liked it!
ReplyDeleteThat Midwestern summer sun is, indeed, a drum of brass. I like the juxtaposition of the lovely lyrical quality of this piece combined with the brutal theme. Hot!
ReplyDeletenice elegant piece
ReplyDeleteand thank you for the suggested reading
A palpable piece - provocative and strong. Love the rhythm, repetition and flow.
ReplyDeleteAck!! Poor crops!! I hate locusts (and all those creatures that come in swarms only to damage everything they come in contact with)
ReplyDeleteA superb write, Joy.. in a few lines, you have laid out a story that is oh so tense and sad..
Nice handling of the form.
ReplyDeleteTriolet ~ how totally charming!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this. Really though, I hope the locusts don't get the garlic.
ReplyDelete