It's that Friday 55 time again, folks, and I have nothing tonight, so once again I've turned to that never-failing source of inspiration, dueling Republican presidential candidates.
For those who habitually tune out politics, last night the cable business channel CNBC hosted the 57th debate (okay, so it just seems like the 57th) between the field of Republican hopefuls wanting to challenge President Obama in 2012. During this feast of intellectual delights, two things amused me ( besides Newt Gingrich.)
The first was Texas Governor Rick Perry's brain freeze extensively covered today by the entire news media and youtube, so you've probably heard how he forgot which three government agencies he intended to close on day one of his increasingly hypothetical presidency.
The second was ex-CEO of Godfather's Pizza Herman Cain, who has been accused of sexual harassment by a variety of women, two of whom won mega-bucks in court settlements, making the statement that for every woman who accused him of such things, after all, there were thousands who hadn't. (Well, what he actually said was "“For every one person that comes forward with a false accusation, there are probably thousands who will say that none of that sort of activity ever came from Herman Cain.” Yes, he refers to himself in the third person a lot.)
The second was ex-CEO of Godfather's Pizza Herman Cain, who has been accused of sexual harassment by a variety of women, two of whom won mega-bucks in court settlements, making the statement that for every woman who accused him of such things, after all, there were thousands who hadn't. (Well, what he actually said was "“For every one person that comes forward with a false accusation, there are probably thousands who will say that none of that sort of activity ever came from Herman Cain.” Yes, he refers to himself in the third person a lot.)
Anyway, if there is low-hanging political fruit, I have trouble refraining from plucking it, and so, wrote these two little limericks to amuse myself, and hopefully those reading. No slurs are intended toward any rational human beings.
There once was a gov’ner named Rick
whose pate was remarkably thick.
He’d a plan to dismantle
some government chattel
but forgot which and made himself sick.
Herman Cain went with the flow
and asserted, “I’m raising the dough!
More ladies’ve fanned me
than those that’ve panned me,
would you like sausage with your CEO?”
Posted for Friday Flash 55 at the G-Man's
because I have no shame
Joy Joy Joy....
ReplyDeleteThat debate was only about 40 miles from here.
And indeed the ONLY worthwhile result from it was your two very formidable Limericks!
I'd like to see you punch Ann Coulter...Yeah,
Anyway, Loved your 55, thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End!
(I'll come back when you visit the 55 post)
Thanks, Galen. Forgot it was in Detroit. Bet you loved hearing how every single one of those guys thought GM & Chrysler should have gone bankrupt.
ReplyDeleteWhy watch when we can be so much more amused by your poetry. Awesome!
ReplyDeletehaha...it was fun to watch the idiots on constant replay over the television today...so think perry is done...nicely done on the limericks...i would laugh if i could stop crying...
ReplyDeleteThanks Anna and Bri. I'm still considering Galen's idea that I take on Ann Coulter--not sure I'm bad-ass enough.
ReplyDeleteI am a conservative, but there was a reason I didn't watch the debates. On the left and the right, I can't believe these are the best America has to offer. Crazy stuff. But I would not want to see you take on Anne Coulter... She is just mean and nasty - we need you safe and sound so you can write, write, write.
ReplyDeleteHa..ha... yes, it was fun to watch all the bloppers today.
ReplyDeleteHappy friday ~
A pox on all their houses.
ReplyDeletebwahahahaha! well done! and i agree with g-man. the only enjoyable outcome of the debate is your 55....well that and perhaps weeding out a complete nitwit as a candidate.
ReplyDeletea lovely 55.
ReplyDeleteHope all is well.
Happy Friday.
I wanted to mention three things in this comment:
ReplyDelete1. Cute poem.
2. Ron Paul = the great gazoo ? LOL.
3. Um ... um ... just a minute ... I'll get back to you on this.
Yours is the first limerick 55 I've read. Well done :)
ReplyDeleteHehe. Love your 55 poem.
ReplyDeleteAll of this is lost on us Brits, of course! Good luck with your elections. Hope you get a more productive result than we did.
ReplyDeletehaha...even if i'm not familiar with them..enjoyed the verse..good you have no shame..smiles
ReplyDeleteYour scathing duo of limericks should be a reminder that this year it's "GOP R.I.P.", but the eventual success of one of these yahoos (and sadly I do think Obama's doomed) just proves instead what how large the dolt majority has becomes. (Evidence all those Penn State students rioting in protest of the firing of a sexual harassment enabler.) Like PT Barnum once said, "Never underestimate the gullibility of the buying public." I wish it was funnier, but Daily Beast today has a list of "The Most Ignorant Republican Hopefuls today: http://www.thedailybeast.com/galleries/2011/11/09/most-ignorant-gop-presidential-hopefuls-photos.html . Just makes me sad. Great limericks, Hedge. - Brendan
ReplyDeleteI'd buy tickets to that bout! (LOL!)
ReplyDeleteAnyone qualified to be our president is too smart to run for office. Sad. So sad.
ReplyDeleteOh! Love it love it love it love it......
ReplyDeleteYes, punch Ann Coulter between her bony shoulders and knock the nastiness out of her mouth. It was so ironic to me that Perry is at Oakland Univ. who was hosting the event, using their facilities and driving on OUR streets, breathing down their microphones and gagging up the airwaves, and has the audacity to tell us that the first agency he will close if president is Education. And why are these debates closed to the public? Why aren't the students allowed inside? Are they that afraid of reaction?
Obama doesn't have to do a thing. They're making him look better by the hour. Thank you for this 55. I can't believe I haven't yet started to follow you. Soon to be corrected.
hahahaha! Love it! Not sure whether to laugh or cry at that debate. Funny, but kinda scary too.
ReplyDeleteAwe, you did a fine rhyme, Joy! Glad to know I'm not the only one inspired by these train wrecks of idiocy. I don't have cable, but the Daily Beast and the ilk via Facebook were only too happy to replay the highlights online. Guess we both found inspiration for G-Man's 55. A fabulous write..I"m still chuckling..."dough & sausage business" ha! ~
ReplyDeleteI think I might just have to get all my political news from you~way more entertaining! Thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDeleteOh! Your limericks are delightful. But your political commentary? Priceless, deserving of being shared. You should have a column or a regular TV slot. I can see Rachael Maddow interviewing you out in the field as you give your take on the happenings leading up to the election. Hell, you should write political commentary for David Letterman's show!
ReplyDelete