Monday, December 5, 2011

Our Rose

Figured it was about time for some comic relief at Castle Hedgewitch.

NOTE: Images of Mary Millar removed due to constant search engine activity. Sorry if they were used inappropriately.

Our Rose

Our Rose
painted snowflake
waits in vain
for a telephone call
from Mr. Pratt or Mr. Blackstone
or someone named Nigel

whom she met last night at the pub,
to whom she gave her trainwreck self
in wild abandon in the back of a Vauxhall
after lights out.

Our Rose
aging elfgirl
has two married sisters;
one lives in a social tilt awhirl
off its tracks in her own brain,
the other in a series of chocolate boxes
and bodice rippers next to 
a sardonic bone idle man
amused by a broken TV.

Our Rose
fading pubsprite
in a rational moment
gives up men
swine that they are
and weighs her choices:
Back to virginity
or get her to a nunnery.
She has another fag 
and considers
the Vicar.

Oh, Rose, our Rose
you’re already a woman of the cloth
black lace and miniskirt though it be;
already a  bride of the lord,
just not of this
particular pale
and mingy one.

December 2011

 Mary Millar (1936-1998) 
played Rose, in the BBC sitcom Keeping Up Appearances

To see Rose in full form, view her in these video clips*:

Rose holds forth on the topic of men as swine, 
starting at 1:58 in, till about 3:07

Rose decides to be a nun, and takes a pill for it; 4:56-finish:

"..there's only the dog paying any attention..." 

Note: The dog in this video is NOT my Schnuskie, Chinook, though the resemblance is striking.

*This poem will probably make a lot more sense, and also be a lot funnier, to those who take a minute or two to watch the designated parts of the videos .Apologies for not being able to get just the clips of Rose--Hyacinth is rather a turnoff. 

posted at  real toads


  1. Me, in ten years . . . if I were English!

  2. This gave me a good laugh - even though I'm not familiar with this particular sitcom. You have an eye for the foibles of your characters. I particularly liked the description of the sisters and their husbands, as well as the stanza mentioning her decision to take a chance on the vicar!

  3. men are scum...her life sounds a bit surreel, but i guess at times that is life...wonder if i could be amused by a broken tv? smiles.

  4. @MZ: She was 59 in these shots. It's the miles, not the years. ;-)

    @Brian: most lives are surreal when looked at properly. :P

    @Kerry: I pretty much took the characters as portrayed--Onslo is very proud of being 'bone idle' and actually, rather a nice guy.

  5. Rose needs to embrace her inner vixen since the nun's garb won't do! I've not heard of this series but had a good laugh at these segments. Brit humor is brilliant, though.

  6. Men ... whaddayagonnado? Can't get away from one Lord or the other, Lord Death or Lord HoHum, Lord Lardass or Lord zzzzzz. Poor Rose, playing along. The Brits do know how to laugh at their tediums and the proprieties that lock 'em in to them. B

  7. I love this show. I stopped by to tell you your poem is featured today and to thank you once again.

  8. Thanks Tom. Here's a link to your site, where my poem Fever Dream is up:

    Note to readers: All work on this blog is copywrite protected; reuse of my poems is through written arrangement and only with my permission.

  9. That's amazing, about the dog! I cracked up big time at Rose in the first one.

  10. Oh dear! I can't think it's completely comic! I mean, I'm sort of laughing, but it's painful! K.

  11. Aren't they marvelous? Now I may just go upstairs and have a watch. You captured her perfectly you know? Most excellent.

  12. just LOVE this! i used to watch 'Keeping Up Appearances' every Tuesday night. Rose was just as you describe her! especially love ~

    "She has another fag
    and considers
    the Vicar."

    Wonderful!! ♥

  13. Ha, woman of the cloth, you clever woman. Yes, how long will Rose go on before she gives up men? Never, I hope.

  14. LOLOL I hate Hyacinth, but Rose is sooooooo funny! :) You captured Rose sooo well :)

  15. Joy,
    How demure and loving this Rose! Looking through the video gives some inkling of Brits humor. Thanks for sharing!


  16. Well Done, Rose has some webs on her! lol

  17. Loved it! Very well written and just the right touch from a deft hand brought both darkness, and wry humor out!

  18. I love this "aging elf girl", and I love the show! Wonderful poem. This actress was supremely Rose!!! Thanks for the clip, too. Great presentation.

  19. Humorous and poignant at the same time......enjoyed "she has another fag and considers the vicar." Love the tone and the perfection of verbiage in this one, kiddo.


"We make out of the quarrel with others, rhetoric, out of the quarrel with ourselves, poetry." ~William Butler Yeats

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