Lost at Sea
The wind's stopped now,
and all forward motion.
She rocks, sails lost,
sieved silk too soft
to sheath another
blade blow.
White horses
stamped the decks;
dazzling blood from
each silver wound
splashed cold
through her belly.
Gravid with flood,
when her water breaks
so will her sides
birthing her last rest
in blue nippled
wilderness.
wilderness.
~August 2012
Posted for MeetingtheBar at dVerse Poets Pub
Where Claudia asks us to write with an Impressionist's brush
And also, discerning eyes may have noticed, this sailor's shanty contains
exactly 55 drops of cold blue sea for
Image: Rocks at Java~The White Boat, by Joaquín Sorolla, 1905, oil on canvas
Public domain, via Wikipaintings.org
Oh my oh my. Hedge, I haven't visited in a while...I realize again what I have been missing. Great impression my dear!
ReplyDeleteMiss Witch...
ReplyDeleteFunny, when you describe sinking into the abyss, it seems more poetically noble than frightening.
That must mean that you are a poet.
And a Damn Fine one at that!!
Loved your story/poem/55...
Thank you for playing (albeit early a la Brian Miller), I really appreciate you and your support, have a Kick Ass Week-End...G
Thanks, Galen. I look forward to your Friday jams, you know--thanks for hosting them. You were much missed, and I'm glad you're back raising hell.
Deletesweet visual piece... the motion of the sea flows through every line
Delete"blue nippled
ReplyDeletewilderness." ...what a line! Wonderful writing, you're always so original :)
That's what the waves in the painting looked like to me, Louise. Yes, I am weird--thanks for saying original. ;-)
DeleteStunning! This is professional all the way, very good. I feel lost at sea, no really I feel for her, the vessel I'm presumbing. gardenlilie.com
ReplyDeleteWow! This is one tremendous write! You painted a masterpiece, m'lady!
ReplyDeleteA sea of gorgeous and powerful feminine imagery. Gravid with flood had me teetering on the edge of wonder. birthing her blue nippled wilderness. ahhhh. I love when you face the beginning to the ending. This is an exquisite poem.
ReplyDeleteShades of blue and silver - she goes to the bottom in a rushing sea of color and the with the pain of knives stabbing. Perfect, really.
ReplyDeleteOh my! The mood in this is almost overwhelming, Joy. Breath-taking, heart-breaking images.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what this is about, beyond the birthing imagery, but the language is stunning - one to be read aloud again and again.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mark--too tired today to play with the recording thing. It's about what I always write about, loss, the emotional sea, the hope that comes when you float to the bottom, that maybe you will rise and be nourished at the top...something like that.
DeleteOr maybe it's about a boat.
DeleteVery smooth, how you brought in the present tense "she rocks" while everything else has already happened but the breaking of the water. And everything was alive! Waves as horses, water logged broken deck as bloody, water swollen center as pregnancy--this will be her last birth. No people, just her, and yet as I read, I stand over her last bedside, watching for her last breath.
ReplyDeleteAmazing!
ReplyDeleteYou never cease to amaze me with the vivid pictures you paint.
ReplyDeletewow....that rocks...love the birthing imagery that you wove in...birthing her own final rest...snap that was good....really like how you accellerated the movement within as you went along....
ReplyDeleteI love your comment to Kerstetter... deep and artsy and then... well, the second is just practical. Ha! I was quite taken with "White horses stamped the decks;" imagining them splashed with blood... And blue nippled wilderness is just perfect somehow.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Margaret. I hope you wrote something for this prompt--it's up your alley, I would think.
DeleteThanks for suggesting it. I hope I succeeded... :)
DeleteMagic!
ReplyDeleteThe birth imagery just blew me away.
ReplyDeleteOne can picture a stormy ocean, waves, that make points like nipples, a white boat tossing about it about to break apart. :) Wonderful to read and picture.
ReplyDeleteWhat a unique "impression" of a boat that has sailed its last...I love how your mind works!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. Your words reminded of a Monet!
ReplyDeleteOnly you could paint impressionist strokes this stunning. :)
ReplyDeleteLove these sections:
"sieved silk too soft
to sheath another
blade blow"
"when her water breaks
so will her sides
birthing her last rest
in blue nippled
wilderness"
The final three lines are my favorites.
love the picture your words draw....
ReplyDeleteHedge, everything here is gorgeously painted. The painting itself is breathtaking and your piece is certainly on par. A strong, and beautifully written illustration of an event that easily could've been conveyed in such a different tone and style. Love this.
ReplyDeletegreat images...esp. loved the...White horses
ReplyDeletestamped the decks;
dazzling blood from
each silver wound... and the blue nippled wilderness... you carry the emotions like waves on each line as well
stunning imagery, Joy!
ReplyDelete♥
That was soo good. And capturing that image in matching broad strokes and still maintaining the intimacy. Wonderful.
ReplyDeleteImpressionism personified.
ReplyDeleteMore here then meets the eye. Feels like a birth.
ReplyDeleteThe silk is bursting with poignancy. As always.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ruth. And thanks for introducing me to Sorolla. He's become quite a favorite. Hope your summer is going well.
DeleteAh. Very very pretty poem. Well done in any number of words, but amazing in 55. k.
ReplyDeleteThat's a wonderful metaphor. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI see this as an aftermath of a stormy incident at sea. It can be most frightening. It's all the more chilling when 'blood' is mentioned. Great imagery Joy!
ReplyDeleteHank
PHEW! what a dazzle - sad and bloody ? Hmmm, interesting, Thanks!
ReplyDeleteAll right, how do you write something like this in exactly 55 words? This would take me a month. I particularly like that ending. When a thing is no longer able to do what it was born to do, what then? There is a quote, and I wish I knew who said it, but it goes something like this: If you're hanging on to your life, then you'll see devils coming to take it away; but if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, releasing you. Your poem makes me think of that.
ReplyDeleteGreat impressionistic poetry to go with a great piece of impressionistic art!!
ReplyDeleteGreat artistry here :)
ReplyDeleteI love the splashes of Ss and bold strokes of Bs and Ds...
ReplyDelete"Blue-nippled wilderness." Wow. I dont know how you do it, but I'm so glad that you do!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat's quite the image...nicely done!
ReplyDeleteMoves like the sea. Like others, I'm completely entranced by blue-nippled wilderness...
ReplyDeletethis is very impressionistic. i like how you turned that little row boat into a vessel of birth. i really love when the wind breaks so will her water.
ReplyDeletefoam
I love the picture you paint here, though it made me sad.
ReplyDeleteI can't choose a favorite line (though the birth imagery stuns), it is such a perfect (w)hole. Okay, "blue-nippled wilderness". So startling, and so right. Thank you for this.
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone. Will try to do some visiting tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry I am late. You truly write such "wicked" poem and in 55 words! Truly a fine impressionist! I can never write like that.
ReplyDeleteMine is here
Have you a Rocking Weekend!
hugs
shakira
this one spoke to me. i love it all, every bit of imagery.
ReplyDeletei feel i m there
ReplyDelete*in blue nippled
wilderness...*
love that
breathtakingly beautiful. you painted such a vivid (yet sad) picture with the finest impressionist brush strokes.
ReplyDelete"sieved silk too soft" made me grin. I don't know, just did.
ReplyDelete