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| Cosmic Energy~Remedios Varo |
Energy Flow
We talk
as the light fails
as the tide ebbs
as the vein flattens.
each word
is a bead
is a lifeline
is a pebble
on a beach
on the moon
under the earth
within the golem.
Your face
is a bird
before it flies
is a firefly
before it blinks out.
~April 2013
posted for real toads
Kerry's Wednesday Challenge: Existentialism
Image: Cosmic Energy, by Remedios Varo, may be under copyright. All copyright belongs to the copyright holders.
This is fabulous, Hedge. Each word is a bead, and you have strung yours on an existential thread like a piece of abstract art.
ReplyDeleteHaven't . . . had . . . enough . . . coffee!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, you've taken a tough prompt and responded perfectly. I wish that I had written this. It answers the question that you can't quite define.
nice! the golem line caught me by surprise, in a good way.
ReplyDeletedang...those last two stanzas just come out of nowhere...particularly that last one...one i wish i had written hedge...a bird before it flies a firefly before it winks out....snap
ReplyDeleteThe pacing of this is remarkable, as is the imagery in the final stanza. You owned this.
ReplyDeleteThis is as good as poetry gets. Your last stanza is utterly brilliant.
ReplyDeleteYou're writing beautifully; that's all I have to say. And - the line with the golem was a nice "ooh" moment.
ReplyDelete.. 'as the vein flattens' ~ chilling.
ReplyDelete.. and the image ~ amazing.
DeleteTerrific. Another favorite. Spinning them out suits you. Of course, I particularly like the Golem and firefly. I have a thing for golems. (Based on Terry Pratchett.) But this is just beautiful. Each stanza catches this certain mood, moment, quintessential time, interstice. k.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of those that I wish I had written--especially the last stanza--gorgeous writing--and somehow, for me, the brevity works so well with the prompt
ReplyDeleteAh, the piled up experiences of the pregnant moment about to take flight
ReplyDeleteOh, that final stanza is wonderful — it is outstanding in a poem that was already fine.
ReplyDeleteK
No words. You embodied (or disembodied) the prompt. My eyes are wet. My heart is pounding.
ReplyDeleteWe were both on the beach today, sort of. This is great, and...I should think of a better word than great, but at least you get the gist.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful. All I could do was grieve when I wrote mine...this one makes me feel so joyful.
ReplyDeleteNice images!
ReplyDeleteThis is superb. Every line is a charmer. I felt quite disappointed to get to the end of it. (Wonderful image also.)
ReplyDeleteyour use of prepositions here is very effective. The last stanza is especially beautiful to me, embodying dramatic energy flow with a suddenly unexplainable end. really wonderful and crisp.
ReplyDeleteReading your work is definitely helping me do the daily writing.
wonderful, this speaks to me of life altogeth
ReplyDeleteis a firefly
ReplyDeletebefore it blinks out.
brilliant. I sat and thought about that line for a while after reading it... just lovely. It's like the last glimpse of my baby's face as the light turns off and the image is burned on the back of my retina and slowly fades. You want to hold on to it, but can't....
Exactly. The memory is the glow left behind.
Delete