Creation Myth
I wasn't sure
what to do with myself
after I was invented.
There was a vague sense of gratitude
to the Maker, but
not enough to
overcome the inertia of his absence,
bored with his work, long gone.
I was still struggling
to understand why
you took one eye from an angel,
one from a devil,
and made
my legs out of fish
so that when I stepped in the wave,
they darted away free
while my torso of sand
my abalone-shell breasts
untied, fell to rest on the sea floor,
the angel and the devil staring up
through blue eternity.
It all seemed a bit
foolish
but perhaps
that's exactly
what you had in mind.
~November 2013
Top: Bathing Woman, by Joan Miro, 1925
Footer: Shell No. 2, by Georgia O'Keefe,
May be protected by copyright. Posted under fair use guidelines, via wikipaintings.org
maybe it was, who knows...ha, i like the legs of fish that dart away free...the eyes are a bit creepy...why let evil in at all? then again where then is free will...but couldnt we have free will without evil?
ReplyDeleteGood question. Let me know when you figure it out, bri. ;_) Thanks.
DeleteOh my goodness, what a spectacular poem this is! I liked the darting legs too.....and wondered how yu come up with such unusual and original images........wowzers!
ReplyDeleteMystery and a sense of distance. Quite like this one ~
ReplyDeleteCreation has a tiff with its myth--a complaint submitted to deaf ears. It leaves the created with godlike metaphors that only can have profane uses. Maybe that's the curse of modernity, to have this once sacred language and only fallen uses for it. I sense a certain giddiness in the poem, created now the creator, making do with tools long abandoned by the gods. I dunno, maybe we'll see some improvement, some better employment for those old angel devil eyes. Let's hope so. - Brendan
ReplyDeleteLooking on our own dissolution, realizing we are made to dissolve, out of profundity, into the shallows...but seeing, divided, through blue eternity...maybe, as part of the way we think it is not being that way at all, there truly are no answers. Thanks for stopping by, B.
DeleteThis reads like the creation myth of some ancient and extinct civilization, yet the first person makes it so much more immediate. Perhaps such beings are being made and unmade all the time, somewhere in the universe, on some unknown shore.
ReplyDeleteOr on the unknown shores inside. Thanks, Kerry, for your thoughtful reading.
DeleteI like this very much...the disparate parts, and of course the Maker's intent was for a bit of foolishness.
ReplyDeleteA new favorite. Just wonderful. I love the use of the word "invented" rather than made or created, as I brings up not just the clunkiness of the creation but the fact that wind had to been blown through it to somehow animate it. The fish legs of course bring up the little mermaid story for me--the Hans Christian Andersen one which I found so terribly tragic as a child--here you have it in reverse- and I love the idea of the legs abandonning as stepping into any wave--action/the world--just great.
ReplyDeleteAbelone a particular wonderful word--my mind goes to Abel despite the naturalism, and there's a sense of first victim here== anyway--I like the poem a lot. (And you have to admit - as lost as staring into blue eternity seems, it's a lot better than looking into one's navel.) K.
PS - really really love the Miro also. k .
DeleteThanks so much for seeing the fairytale re-engineered here, k. There was a period in my young life when I read every fairytale I could get my hands on, and they are underneath, like myths, a lot of the mechanics of how I perceive things. Like all of Andersen's, that one is heart-breaking in the sheer power-play of love and injustice written into the fabric of the universe. I've been rather exhausted and out of it this week--the poem partakes of a bit of that also, I think. Thanks so much for reading.
DeleteI wasn't sure
ReplyDeletewhat to do with myself
after I was invented
what an opening! a summation to end all. the poem extends Miro's poetic simplicity and levels-up.bored with his work, long gone: the initial act of an immature deity?!
and then the duality and the elemental oppositions, all contained within such an elegant casing: the human racing toward eternal oblivion, or perhaps the intro to an absurd joke that cant be bothered to define a punch line because, well - it's just not funny! there again, if you cant see the funny side of our atomic joyride then you must a humourless fish from outer space evolving on a six hundred mile an hour ball of Iron because of a particular proximity to a cosmic oven . . . wait a minute!!! :)
Exactly. Gotta laugh to keep from cryin, man. Thanks for the superlative feedback, Arron.
DeleteI agree, the opening is stunning!
ReplyDeleteK
Abandoned on some shore, a touch of the divine given over to the world...It's hard to know who or what we are in the context of that cosmic neglect. We end up as pieces of many things that are conveniently situated so as to impersonate whole beings. And that's on the good days....this has great depth and insight...very philosophic while retaining lyricism. Excellent lines throughtout, especially the opening.
ReplyDeleteSteve K.
Yes, great opening, and you do funny quite well. If there is a god with anything like a human image (however remote) (and I doubt it) he/she surely is either a joker or a devil.
ReplyDeleteOne of the dubious perks of atheism is being able to take varying squints at the god construct--a very rich field of human symbol...but also, for me, a rather dead end one. Thanks for your thoughts, Mark.
DeleteLove "the unknown shores inside" , the angle you took with the prompt...quite existentialist if I might say and.it's ingenious; have to admit I didn't get the Hans Christian Andersen connection until Karen made that part clear...again, the into is perfect.
ReplyDelete...I meant "intro"...
ReplyDeleteNo problems on the typos--I think into works fine. ;_) This wasn't written for any prompt--however thank you for reading.
Deleteyou seem to have gathered a pool of philosophies all in one human/fishy plot. it is beautiful, the blue eternity. I think one of my favorite aspects is the way you leave the question open at the end.
ReplyDelete" I wasn't sure
ReplyDeletewhat to do with myself
after I was invented."
Best. opening lines. EVER!!!!
" There was a vague sense of gratitude
ReplyDeleteto the Maker, but not enough to
overcome the inertia of his absence,"
Just so. I love your feisty take on creation - one can never truly know what was in the creator's mind (what was s/he thinking??!) - but I had a sudden recollection of my ex-brother-in-law, collecting functioning parts and undamaged bits and pieces of car bodies left at the vehicle graveyard to put together something drivable, that he could then offload onto some unsuspecting customer... (ugh!)