Saturday, December 28, 2013


Train Wreck Point, by jack_a_daniel


I was an accident.
I  happened one day
and people just had
to learn to live with it.
There was no malice involved,
only cause and effect
as an object on one course
must meet what opposes it
in a collision that breaks each one.

The age that's come
is another accident. I was
never meant  to live
so long, past the point
where rails can go, to
grow clouds in my eyes
and traps in my bones, be the last lost
in the long gone past. This is all
an accident.

And when I brushed
your hip with mine
in the crowded smoke,
when you stumbled and grabbed
my shoulder---what a trainwreck
started there! How the lives piled up,
derailed, crumpled as the force
pushing them met that stone wall kiss--
The screams! The wreckage! And the acts

of bravery
as heroically we pulled
the newly shattered
from the broken twist,
set their bones and tried
to make the crippled dance again,
but things can never be
quite the same
after an accident.

~December 2013

Train Wreck, 1905
jill carlson, on flick'r

posted for     real toads
Weekend Challenge:The World's End
Marian of runaway sentence gives us our mission: 
"Our writing exercise today is this: What would it be like if we were stuck in (or have regressed to) the past?

I have no problem going there. It's leaving that's hard.

Optional Musical Accompaniment

Photos shared from flick'r, under a Creative Commons License


  1. I tripped through this with a knowing penned a worthy poem for the challenge... well done

  2. WOW!
    This is amazing and brilliant, Hedge. I'm blown away by your metaphor, the tone and the easy way each stanza flows in the telling of the story. Just incredible writing.

    1. Thanks, Kerry. Your feedback makes my day.

    2. Just to say, I love Kerry's comments wherever I go.

    3. Thanks, gals! I just wish I could put everything I feel when I read good poetry into words.

      PS. I was an accident too, though a honeymoon baby :-)

    4. What you do say always encourages, Kerry, and makes all this writing stuff seem worthwhile. And sometimes an accident is a blessing in disguise.

  3. I missed the reference but enjoyed the poetry. As always a fine bit of poesy.

  4. aaaahhhh, wow. yeah, that's some kinda train wreck you got there. and you're right, never quite the same after, so what if that is where you started? excellent, excellent. (see how nicely i am refraining from peppering this with exclamatory curses?)

    1. I am proud of your self-restraint and culcha, Ms. Marian. Thanks for a prompt that made me work.

  5. Hi Hedge--to me this is another very naturalistic poem, but I worry that maybe I see things--or say things that are so obvious, I don't know. But I think of the initial accident as well, the accident that comes from faulty (or no) birth control (sorry) and the opposing forces meeting up is almost comical in that context though the breaking up of each side very sad too (and real)--and then the next accident of the age something that some of us may feel what with the risks and more, or just seeing those fall by the wayside--and then the meeting up with the accidental partner is also conveyed in metaphor but with a certain palpable realism--the good intentions so clear despite the wreckage. Anyway--I thought it all worked super well. (I think the poem works on lots of other levels too, but I tend to be very literal and so see things that way.) I agree with Kerry re the flow and tone -- very smooth and there's a kind of fatalistic likability. k.

    1. PS--sorry--I realize how kind of awful my comment re the accident of birth sounds--the term accident was something used in my family though, so I can't help but think of it. k.

    2. I was one, actually. That was where the poem started. As always k, you are right on the money. Thanks for reading-my sciatica has decided to go crazy, so forgive the brief answer to your long analysis, for which I am very grateful.

    3. So sorry re pain--ouch. I do like the musical accompaniment very much too--can't always listen to them (if at office -- ha!) but could today. thanks--feel better. k.

  6. "to
    grow clouds in my eyes
    and traps in my bones, "

    That's one of the most succinct and best descriptions of getting physically older that I have read.

    Oh, it all seems like an accident sometimes, doesn't it--on days when it doesn't seem divinely ordered. Somehow we keep stepping out of the smoking pile-up, and if we don't dance, well, at least we keep on truckin'. I know you, rider, you old Deadhead; thank goodness we at least get to travel this long strange road together.

    1. Amen to that, girl. And thanks for the company. It is first rate.

  7. I have read your poem multiple times .. am still sitting, hands folded, deep in thought. This one won't leave my mind for quite some time. Amazing.

  8. A 'good' accident coming into this world but a bad accident that so often occurs at other times. Good reference point starting out. An easy flow and dramatics at the end. Brilliant take Joy!


  9. I read it a few times and each time enjoyed it more. It's a great poem. That first stanza - wow. The metaphor is outstanding.. so well done...

  10. The extended metaphor is so effective and I'm glad that you posted the picture after, (so neat the last name of the author of that image is Kent), any way, I love that stonewall kiss and the twist that you place in that last stanza with the great line break...

    Excellent, Hedge.

  11. This walks with you and talks with you like a friend. The language is so beautiful, but so natural and accessible. Fantastic write, Hedge.

  12. brilliant. won't quote but note as others did before me, some excellent imagery and twist of metaphor. ~

  13. Here the speaker is stripped of her poetry, set in the stone of accidentally broken bones, in what follows from a splintered track. A snow-man poem, into the mind of that wintering, not without its comforts ("no malice involved"), even poetry (the "clouds" and "traps), but winsomely too the nobility of helping others out of the wreckage. The narrative is cold and ruled by the breakage, a fixed idee that is inexorable and, thank goodness, salved by other poetries. Fine job, Hedge.

  14. What a sad metaphor.. the wrecked train... a life's an accident... you kept the imagery so consistently through you lines that made the images clearer and clearer with each line.

  15. The image of being an accident and then the train wreck--very sad to me. Excellently done.

  16. What a great metaphor and a brilliant poem. I love this.

  17. very moving...i like the extended metaphor of lives in motion crashing into each other...the trying to pick up the pieces and putting things back together...and realizing as well some things can not be....


"We make out of the quarrel with others, rhetoric, out of the quarrel with ourselves, poetry." ~William Butler Yeats