Aubade Of The Scorpions
At night the little scorpions come down
to watch us playing at our poison kisses
to study from the dustbath where we drown
the sting that sinks the deepest when it misses.
I found flowers once where you had touched me;
black poppies sown in moon-distempered hisses.
Now the sun is crawling through the ivy,
its dawn a flickered fire burning wishes.
You're a green ghost spitting from a tree;
promises float away like silver fishes
and Love's a child who suddenly confesses.
April 2022
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posted for dVerse Poets:
Images: Crustaceans c.1873 ©Raimundo Petraroja Fair Use
The Evening Gown, 1954, ©Rene Magritte Fair Use
what a unique and intriguing response to the prompt. I enjoyed reading and re-reading if only to be hit by that final utterly profound line
ReplyDeleteThank you Laura, and thanks for the prompt.
DeleteYou had me at the title, Joy. One thinks of an aubade as being perhaps melancholy, but gentle--this one stings! Your wording here is superb. The first three lines sound almost playful (as love is, at first) with the "little" scorpions who "watch us playng" but then it turns on a dime and becomes dark, threatening, bleak. Spitting promises from a tree is stellar (and disturbing!). I love it when you write like this. Here is an aubade to sharpen shivs by.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Shay--I'm very happy you liked it. It was a beast to get the meter right.
DeleteWow, this is really powerful, Joy. The imagery is utterly compelling. I am left feeling as if I've crossed over to the dark side but I don't feel damned because I still have a heart. I'm intimidated by the dystopia and yet it's as beautiful as it is fierce. I love these lines:
ReplyDelete"the sting that sinks the deepest when it misses."
"promises float away like silver fishes
and Love's a child who suddenly confesses."
But the whole thing is special <3
Thank you, Sunra. I know it's hard to make the rounds when you are doing poetry month, so extra thanks for the time and energy spent here.
DeleteSuch masterful use of imagery, rhyme and meter. Really wonderful, Joy.
ReplyDeleteThank you, dear Sherry.
DeleteI love the lyricism and the dark imagery of this, Hedgewitch! I had scorpions in my flat in Slovenia several times: they really give me the shivers...
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ingrid. Yes, I've encountered them a few times here, and they are not creatures I'd like to live with.
DeleteAubades age poorly, show too easily their sugar walls. This fond bit of sawtooth poesy (such slithery fricatives!) hit its mark for me at "the sting that sinks the deepest when it misses" ("kisses" would have worked well there too). Jazzman sure could bang a drum though in the end it was just poison tail. (That's myth enough for me, whether the personal reference it on target or not.) Keeps the cauldron stirring.
ReplyDeleteThanks, B. the "corset" of terza rima I chose to put my poem in here kind of forces what will rhyme when, but the sense of what you say is very true. It's so hard to know after the fact which tails are poisonous and which are just lovely dancers, isn't it? I guess you can tell by the sting. ;) Thanks as always for your years of reading, my friend.
DeleteWhat an excellent and unique way to respond to the prompt... the title, and this:
ReplyDeletesting that sinks the deepest when it misses
Black poppies is also such a strong image.
Thank you, Bjorn. I enjoyed yours as well.
Deletelike the others, i too am most strongly drawn by the sting line - how it serves to pivot the tenor, how what comes after can only be what comes after such a sting.
ReplyDeletewhat I always enjoy with reading your poetry is the sense of being allowed to see - how your words illuminate even if what is being lit, elides explanation, how you never, ever bludgeon us with explication. you might hone that razor and slide it smoothly across our gawking necks - but with a caress and a wee smile rather than a slash and a smirk. ~
Thanks, M. This may be one of my favorite comments ever, and may I say, you do the same, my friend.
Deletebleak, powerful, jarring, mystical but real...great poetry...
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ain. Stay safe, and thanks for making time to read this.
Delete