Monday, March 21, 2011

Nothing Exists Except Atoms & Space




"Sweet exists by convention, bitter by convention, colour by convention; atoms and Void [alone] exist in reality." ~ Democritus

Nothing Exists Except Atoms And Space

A rondel


Come ride the atoms where I walk.
Be real before you blow like smoke.     
Be dreams but then be dreamer woke.       
Be acts not sacks of empty talk.

Call back the dogs, call back the hawk.
Do the thing you can’t revoke.             
Come ride the atoms where I walk.
Be real before you blow like smoke.

Unpick the stitch, unlock the lock.
Unthread the needle words we spoke.
Take form and be the antidote
to poisons, not the killing shock.
Come ride the atoms where I walk.



March 2011





Posted for OneStop Poetry Form at the inimitable OneStopPoetry
~Okay, I fudged the rhymes a bit in the final stanza. Young padawans--don't try this at home.



Image: Spinward,  by nmsmith, courtesy deviantART

17 comments:

  1. I try, every day, to be the antidote. It takes too much energy to be the poison. I wish everyone would realize that.

    It's a beautiful piece, Hedgewitch; very inspirational. I needed the boost today. Thanks!

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  2. This is great! Such a good poem ~ 'do the thing you can't revoke' ~ love that line. : )

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  3. Joy...I really like the use of un- in the last stanza, unlock, unpick, unthread...the whole sense of moving back to a time before...call back the dogs and the hawk...great images....

    My problem is my brain is always seeing something as the rhyming scheme and then --to quickly moving - and thinking that is right without let it sit for a minute and rechecking... hyperbrain, I call it.....fun excerise....bkm

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  4. Very innovative and thought provoking in an old timey form. I liked it very much. Your work never fails to please and satisfy something deep in my soul. Finally home with a little time to read this evening.

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  5. I love this one, Joy. "Call back the hawk. Do the thing you cant revoke." I, too, love all the un-picking and unlocking, and I REALLY love be the antidote, "not the killing shock." Wow. You are GOOD!!!!!

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  6. A very self-assured rondel, it really shows when someone is comfortable with meter and form.

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  7. "Be dreams but then be dreamer woke.
    Be acts not sacks of empty talk."

    I'm lovin that.

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  8. Joy,

    This is tight. The insistence on, well, 'authentic involvement' . . . in personal context.

    The lines are stong (as so often!), particularly the first four -- what an opening!

    More later, poetess!

    Trulyfool

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  9. do the thing you cant revoke...nice line...

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  10. oh, I love this. awesome rondel! My favorite line is : Be acts not sacks of empty talk" (excellent wording for that old cliche "practice what you preach")

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  11. Been walking a long time and now I am crossing the land of tiredofit. Are there even atoms or substance of any kind here in this land I am traversing.

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  12. Who comes up with Poetry forms anyway?

    Wonderful Rondel!!

    As is ANYTHING you create!

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  13. I love this form with this subject matter - going back and beginning again.

    Just beautiful, hedgewitch.

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  14. Pre-science magic is really poetic science, Democritus giving the speaker license to dance on the sword-bridge from This to That (the only things which exist in this poem's reality.) Is there too an influence here of contemporary nuclear physics, were so many realities can exist at once, This AND That? Whatever, it's a hoot. I wonder if today's Weird Sisters have horn-rimmed glasses and pocket protectors. Even moreso, I wonder what these "nucular" (G. Bush's phrase) charms will yet engender ... Brendan

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  15. kudos joy ann - it flows from my lips like honey..

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  16. I liked this, the spirit, the sentiments expressed. especially liked the internal rhyme
    'Be acts not sacks of empty talk.'
    Also the extra repetition of the prefix 'un'
    Great poem

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'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg