Wednesday, July 4, 2012

The Triumph of Verbosity




The Triumph of Verbosity; 
or Sweeteners in the Surreal Afterlife



Space nor motion
neither can exist
without  a marker, black,
magic, plastically spastic, shooting demarcation
in tommygun spasms.

Without
some point of surety,
love's demise brings flying into the eyes
only cindertears ceaselessly sweated from the worm's
gut of indigo void.

If only I could
measure this stainless steel
tapeworm of loss,
writhing through my night
of sin and scrapple.

No dimensions are assigned
to the bucket of sugar
glimpsed fine balanced on the distant windowsill
until it falls in Icarian flameout,
making a hole in stomach's soft plane.

The plain red coat wore a
perfectly matching blooded scarf, but
there’s a price for every illusion
even a price for words
falling

straight into the twisted lips
of an altered state.
I never answer when you say,
“Are we going to do this
by the book,

or are we just
going to do it?”
There is only one question left:
Bowling with the blind; who
picks the team colors?

July 2012




Posted for    real toads
Challenge: Out of Standard with Izy
The ever scintillating Isadora Gruye asks us to step outside ourselves  and have a bit of fun by writing 'a poem which parodies your own style, structure, or tone.' I tried, but I think it actually reads just like one of my usual poems. :P




Image: The Triumph of Death, by Peter Bruegel the Elder--NOT the younger! circa 1562
Public domain, via Wikipaintings.org

22 comments:

  1. Auughhh! ~gasp~ You are killin me here! That third stanza is just wrong on so many levels. I laughed so hard at the whole thing that Bosco found it necessary to come over to me and find out why I was so much making of the laughing sounds.

    The kozmic kwestion at the end is deep, and debilitating and dolorous. It plunged deep into my dura mater. Determining its meaning would be like converting the 7-10 split of the Universe!

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  2. You did an amazing job here, Hedgy. I picked up on the parody right away with the black magic marker (though clever you, you dressed it up all nicely). I also like how you invoked phrases that felt like your usual style but amped them up:

    cindertears ceaselessly sweated from the worm's
    gut of indigo void.

    this stainless steel
    tapeworm of loss,
    writhing through my night
    of sin and scrapple.

    the bucket of sugar
    glimpsed fine balanced on the distant windowsill
    until it falls in Icarian flameout,

    these stood out to me for the ability to pull on your strengths, and then to twist them into a level of introspection.

    the last two stanza's work well together, but like Fire Blossom, I love the kosmic kwestion posed at the end. It felt very douglas adams, in the best way possible.

    Viva la, I am now off to replace my AC...100 degrees and rising.

    PS>>>>>thanks for your post on my steam punk poem. I have been crazy and crazy busy (can't believe it's June...er July). I will check out that painter you mentioned and get back to you....have you cracked open a Mieville yet?

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    Replies
    1. UGH! No A/C in that kind of weather is like the hellbreath of Satan panting on you all the time--hope you can get it fixed up promptly. Haven't cracked a Meiville yet, but will as soon as I figure out my new Kindle. (I am lo-tech.)

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  3. Ewwww, tapeworms and scrapple--I don't think I'm hungry for that 4th of July cookout any more!

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  4. a night of sin and scrapple...i really dont know that i wanted to read that today...or think about what that might mean...esp with tape worms...and markers, magic, black...ha...fun stuff hedge

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  5. What I admire most about this self-parody is how BIG you went with it. I am generally in awe of your vast working vocabulary, you have boldly thrown words around here like one who knows how. I loved the inclusion of the worm, the allusion to mythology and your trademark existentialism rendered thus:
    “Are we going to do this
    by the book,

    or are we just
    going to do it?”

    A triumph!

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  6. Um, this is awesome. Love these:

    "black,
    magic, plastically spastic"

    "sweated from the worm's
    gut of indigo void"

    "of sin and scrapple" ... I totally read "scrabble" at first. :) Was totally picturing naughty Scrabble.

    "No dimensions are assigned
    to the bucket of sugar" ... Ha!

    Now THIS is a parody. :)

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  7. This was you on Arnold Schwarze...oh you know who I mean!!! Hedge!! This was entertaining=BIG smiles and some laughter, to!! Oh, and a grimace at that tapeworm!! Awesome!!

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    1. *too of course...I dislike that typo the most, I think!!

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    2. Oh, and my favorite Pink Floyd over there!! Great pickin' or thinkin' as the case may be!!

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    3. Glad you liked, Hannah--I make so many typos these days I can't afford to mind anyone else's, believe me. Thanks for coming by.

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  8. Perhaps the picture was enough, the words took this over the top! MARKERS-> POINT-> MEASURE-> PRICE -> lovely precise words in a distorted world made me laugh but none so much as "Bowling with the blind; who / picks the team colors?" Absurd!

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  9. That third stanza is priceless! Oh, I'm dyin' here!

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  10. There is so much to like...my verbosity usually only has two syllables. Love that third stanza..."stainless steel tapeworm of loss" Nice work!!

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  11. You had me at the title, hedgewitch. I am hooting and hollering here - you can probably hear me :)

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    Replies
    1. No, but I can feel the vibe--glad to bring you a smile this morning, Talon.

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  12. The last two stanzas (8-10 lines)really stand on their own in a kind of terrific way.

    You have many funny silly lines here, but those end lines work as sort of an ironic poem.

    I found this challenge impossible. I am not certain enough of my own style to be able to parody it. I have an idea, but doesn't really suit, or not funny. But this was, of course, k.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks. Those last lines(everything after the red coat) came out of a dream, and I was saving them for something, because they seemed interesting, yet made no particular sense to my waking mind, really--here seemed like a good place for them. Plus I needed more length to really parody myself. ;-)

      I enjoyed your Dueling Poems recording, k--I think it worked as a sort of statement/parody--the seriousness of intention foiled by the jokery of technology, especially.

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  13. What a great parody of your normal style! Sin and scrapple...now that could definitely make for an interesting night. ;) And even a reference to classical mythology, just wonderfully written!

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  14. Whoaaaaaaaaaa!! I loved this one. The battle of wit and language. Gorgeous rendition of the probe!

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  15. tapeworm of loss,
    writhing through my night
    of sin and scrapple.

    ... the funny thing is as I read it aloud, it still sounds beautiful... just don't want to over-think this one :)

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  16. maybe it's the "youness" of you? i absolutely adore this!!!

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'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg