Where The Mad King Disposes
Asleep as far as Night's pen clerks
its long lined lists, where nothing we know is king,
a winter king who never works;
still there I see what the mad fool chooses,
veiled and warped with the sharpest taking.
The blue snow seems full of the light it loses
forming your face from the flat candle flame,
blowing your form in the billowing drapes,
come back from the dead with a stranger's name.
Asleep is a far land laked lucid and deep,
iced out by the ghosts of too many fades.
Where's the sun's blood to break my sleep,
where's the warm substance the shadow makes?
~August, 2024
Image from La Chute de la Maison Usher, 1928 Public Domain
Some wonderful, emotive imagery weaves its way through this meaningful poem - Jae
ReplyDeleteAs always, I am stoked to see that you have taken up your dark and potent pen, dear Hedge. The rhyme scheme here is marvelous--is it a particular form? Moreover, I know how difficult it is to write from a word list AND employ form at the same time, but at times the required discipline ends with a fine result. it certainly has this time. I am especially fond of this line:
ReplyDeleteAsleep is a far land laked lucid and deep
The alliteration and the word choices combine in a most pleasing way to my ear. (And auto-correct wants to change it, of course!!!) Your use of a question at the close is also very effective. I love this.
Wow, Hedge, this is a poem worth waiting for. I miss your poems. It is so excellently composed in imagery and rhyme, it is a wonder to read. Really really beautiful. I especially love "The blue snow seems full of the light it loses."
ReplyDeletethe pivot here for me is so vivid: "The blue snow seems full of the light it loses/forming your face from the flat candle flame," focusing in from the broad sweep in the first verse to the personal. It's good to read you again, Joy. Thanks for stopping by my place; I understand words being far away, and I've missed reading you too, stopping by from time to time to see if any have peeked through - and here they are! I haven't seen Shay's list yet but your pen is both sharp and smooth, with no telltale marks so often evident with word list pens. Anyways - good to read you. ~
ReplyDeleteBeautiful poetry. It speaks to me and the dream state I feel I've been living in for the past few years. There seems to be tiny steps in misty forward, and giant leaps back as the mad king drags all of us down into his madness.
ReplyDelete"Asleep is a far land laked lucid and deep,
ReplyDeleteiced out by the ghosts of too many fades."
Wonderful lines, and poem. Love the image!
“The blue snow seems full of the light it loses” Ohhhhhh…
ReplyDeleteThese gorgeously crafted lines hold a heaviness that one cannot lay down, and the rhyme adds to the deep feelings held here. I love this Joy! You have a unique style all your own and I have to say it is quite magnificent! (I also wanted to thank you for your lovely words over at my blog. It is always wonderful to read your comments Joy!)
ReplyDeleteYou're more than welcome, Carrie, and thanks for this kind comment here. I have watched you constantly improve as a poet over the last several years, and it is my pleasure to give you the feedback you so deserve. Thanks for overlooking my faux pas at your place.
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