Thursday, July 21, 2011

Friday Flash 55 ~ Pinwheel

Messier 101(Pinwheel Galaxy) 

Pinwheel

Just before dawn
you came across the desert
to  my heart's sill

as I lay heavy with sleep;
a light breeze of life
lifting

the blue curtains,
setting all the
pinwheels spinning.

Your unraveling fingers
tapped my shoulder, there in the
morning of the world.

I sighed and turned,
knowing not
to open my eyes.

July 2011





Posted for    Friday Flash 55   at the G-Man's
Fiction in  55 words for fun and absolutely no profit.



Image of Messier 101 obtained using the Wide Field Camera on the Isaac Newton Telescope, La Palma, Canary Islands, Spain.. Credit: R. Barrena (IAC) and D. López (IAC). courtesy  wired.com

28 comments:

  1. oh i would keep them closed if i could make that last...you know...and a little moisturizer might help with the desert...smiles.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Some one was Dallying with you whilst asleep?
    Kinky!!
    Astral Erotica Rocks!
    Loved your 101 55 Hedgewitch.
    Today you are out of this world.
    Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks guys, for stopping by. I've had four solid nights with no sleep, and 105 degrees every day, so I'm headed for an early night, but I'll be around to take those 55 steps around the blogosphere tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I can just picture those pinwheels! So pretty!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Definitely, don't open your eyes.

    ReplyDelete
  6. That sounds wonderful to me.
    Great 55.
    My 55 are here.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The imagery is beautiful, I can feel the breeze. Lovely without this heat, but with it, quite captivating.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Simply mah-velous. The gentle kiss of this spirit -- this pneuma, this breath of the internal paramour writ large across the night sky -- doesn't turn my pinwheels (that's your private joy), but it does fill my birdbath, if you know what i mean. A Flash 55 is the perfect form for this medium, and you pack a lot of proof into its shotglass. Nothing like a breeze for the brow when the world (and perhaps the wearied soul) is burning up. Hell hath no fury like an environment scorned. (Sorry about the heat-addled insomnia -- up near 100 here in Florida yesterday, the house never cooling down. Still, I leave the a/c off when I come downstairs to read and write in the morning, windows open to crickets and the sensual hot weave of dark. 84 on the thermostat when I turned it on, knowing it will take a couple of hours to cool to my wife's comfort zone.)

    ReplyDelete
  9. The image chosen is beautiful and love your words.

    ReplyDelete
  10. wonderful!

    I will follow your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Magical. I'd hesitate to say that the lack of sleep agrees with you, but it sure didn't hurt your writing one bit. Hope you get some rest- that sort of heat will hurt a person.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks all, annell, Cheryl, Ti, good to see you here, and thanks for the follow Andressa.

    @Ruth: glad you could stop by pre-trip, and hope the same cool breeze is at your back.

    @B:Thanks much. Men are well-known for their reptilian ability to bask in heat. 84 indoors would have me taking a spongebath with ice cubes or fleeing to a motel. In the winter I have to be stern, or my spouse would have the heat cranked to this temp.
    AFA the 55 words--I've found it very helpful for the logorrhea, if not the glossolalia. It makes you consider not just each word carefully, but each thought and phrase for best arrangement. I find it a great disciplinary measure (as I do many forms) for my tendency to spew words in an unending geyser. I think I may have used a few more than 55 here, for example. :P

    ReplyDelete
  13. One of the things I like about your writing is the light touch and careful choice of words to drive home a point. It is subtle yet pointed. I am sure you can be aggressive too but always with a bit of holding back and allowing the reader to find out for himself/herself the meaning.

    And thank you for your kind feedback in my posts... I really appreciate it ~

    Hope you have a cool(er)day ~

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thanks much, and you're very welcome, Heaven. I enjoy your work, and it's a pleasure to read and comment on it.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Beautiful 55. Really loved that 4th stanza.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Amazing 55. I know you spoke of another, but you poem had me imagine the sound of the whirl of many pinwheels wafting through the window as love spun the mind. Your 55s are always a treat to read, thank you ~

    (btw: thanks for the critique today!)

    ReplyDelete
  17. @yhc Thanks. And that's just what I was aiming for, so it pleases me no end you heard them spinning. And you're welcome--always glad to comment on your work, though I wouldn't dignify pointing out a typo with the word 'critique.' ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  18. layers of pinwheels - like this one - great style

    ReplyDelete
  19. A fine response to the prompt. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  20. This is beautiful, Hedge. I especially like "my heart's sill", "the morning of the world" and the ending. Sometimes a girl just has to know when to keep them shut, yeah?

    ReplyDelete
  21. "Your unraveling fingers
    tapped my shoulder"

    every line in this piece is perfection! a beautiful 55.
    dani ♥

    ReplyDelete
  22. so wonderful. loved the imagery in your words and the photo too,hope you get some more rest.

    ReplyDelete

'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg