Thursday, October 27, 2011

Orion Rising

Orion



Orion Rising



Across the coliseum
celestial, Mars blinks his
red eye, battledancing
with the milky chimera.

I‘m caught in a glass twist,
shadow of river blue
fluorescing aquamarine 
afterglow  
where light once was
under a sky 
made before men
threw away
the gift of night.

No New York fortune
buys Orion rising,
tigertail dangling
my lifeline.





October 2011





(The discerning eye will note that this poem contains exactly 55 words,
and immediately realize it to be my entry for
Friday Flash 55 at the G-Man's.)





23 comments:

  1. tigertail dangling my life line...nice...this is filled with great imagery...the one downfall of the city for me is losing the stars...love my back yard astrological show each night here in the sticks...

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  2. HA!!!
    Made you count...Made you count!!
    The unexpected 'Light Show' that you are experiencing now certainly is worthy of an Ode by The Hedgewitch!
    If you do submit this as your 55, stop by after 8 tonight and I'll return with my weekly glorification of your Fantastic creativity...G

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  3. Beautiful...."man threw away the gift of night" and "tigertail dangling my lifeline", especially wonderful. I love it.

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  4. Only you, oh Sharp-Penned One, could squeeze cosmos into 55 words. I can't even comment so briefly. The middle stanza is, uh, stellar. The lights of the city that drown out the night sky is somehow akin to our species' hyper-consciousness, blinded by our own certainties. Thanks for breaking the glass. - Brendan

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  5. Love "threw away the gift of night." That's exactly what we've done, isn't it?

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  6. we indeed threw away the gift of night with all its magic...once stayed overnight in the desert in a tent...the magic you weave here brought me back there...

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  7. I wonder if G Man would notice if there were 56 words or 54. A star missing or added.

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  8. @FB: He counts. Trust me. I don't intend to give him any excuses for exceeding his snark quotient.

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  9. I love the line "before men threw away the gift of night". I remember a star filled sky as a boy...now gone.

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  10. Neat! I was just outside a few minutes ago, looking at the stars. Orion's still up there. :)

    Thanks for doing Friday 55!
    Mine's here. :)

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  11. Fukinay I count!!
    And listen Joy to the World...
    The G-Man needs no excuse to Snark!!!
    I did read your truncated poem again, and it still is Cosmic.
    Loved it JA...
    Thanks for playing, thanks for being so fun, and please have a Kick Ass Week-End

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  12. Love these lines:

    the gift of night.

    No New York fortune
    buys Orion rising

    Happy weekend ~

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  13. read this many times the words flow so beautifully, and I didn't count it all

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  14. Such a wonderful way to wind down my way. Your magic never ceases to amaze - like conjuring fireflies.

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  15. before men
    threw away
    the gift of night.

    No New York fortune
    buys Orion rising

    This is really AWESOME... I could have copy and pasted the WHOLE thing! :)

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  16. Apparently this is the day for heinous typos - that would be day not way. I don't know what wind down my way means. Aack. Thanks for the great laugh in the comment of my poem.

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  17. Thanks all.
    @Anna: Now I'm laughing. Your way (of winding down) is my way? Mi casa es su casa, or should that be mis estrellas son sus estrellas?

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  18. Love the blinking red eye- and of course night skies! thanks.

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  19. That last stanza is perfect. Perfect.

    You remind me why I don't mind not having a New York fortune.

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  20. Thanks everyone--I'm having a crazy day and will try to make the rounds later, but it may be a bit later than usual. I do appreciate everyone's visits, and taking the time to leave your comments.

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  21. What a tingle-tangle of a dangling lifeline. I love this snapshot of the night, with warring Mars in the world of men, and even Wall St. is here. And I see Blake’s tiger. I’m not sure what you mean by the gift of night being thrown away, but maybe it’s along the lines of what our visiting daughter said this morning: How much she loved seeing the night sky last night, here on the farm, after living five years in NYC. And now this morning, seeing the pink sunrise behind the barn. I love big cities, but how could I leave this home?

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  22. @Ruth: Yes, exactly that. I never knew there were stars beyond the Big Dipper, growing up in Chicago. All night liquor stores, all night everything; as the saying goes, 'the city never sleeps,' and I too could never trade this night sky, or the quiet of dawn for that hustler's dream. Thanks for stopping by and reading.

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'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg