Thursday, March 8, 2012

Class Warfare

Jaegerkrieg


 Class Warfare
A Triolet

 
I watched the day the castle fell,
saw dove and gosling put to sword;
a yowling Vixen rang the bell
and laughed the day the castle fell.

They burned the deer park, sealed the well
unlocked the cage of the talking bird.
She flew the day the castle fell,
calling fools to bring the sword.




March 2012



Posted for  FormforAll~Triolets at dVerse Poets Pub
Gay Cannon has invited Samuel Peralta (of Semaphore)to discuss and inspire us in the triolet form, one of my favorites. I've bent the rules a little here in my political roman à clef, but hopefully I will not be put to the sword.



And those who are counting may notice that there are also 
55 torches and pitchforks present
 for the G-Man.



Image:  "Der Thier und Jäger Krieg. "A broadside satirizing ordinary people and their aspiration to gain political power by showing the world upside-down, with animals storming the fortification of the hunters..(Nuremberg, Fürst: 1652)[Public domain], via wikimedia commons

44 comments:

  1. Nice. This reminds me of a children's fable or something... I can imagine reading this to my kids. Great work!

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  2. poor deer in the deer park got caught in the middle

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    1. thanks for clearing things up about the deer, i was worried!!

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    2. yes, being smarter than the average human, they left for an undisclosed location long before the pitchforks and torches arrived.

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  3. It's like a whole story is contained in these few words. Well done!

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  4. I like your version of the triolet form, Joy...

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  5. Hedge, awesome old scroll type of vibe to this one, brings me back to a different dawn. Great job. Thanks

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  6. A bit of Grimm in a triolet, nicely done!

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  7. i def like your variation on the closing line...hehe i like the political implications of this too...so i will keep my sword at the ready...

    or maybe just bludgeon them with my attempt at form poetry...smiles.

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    1. MURDER at it's worst!!! AGHHHH run!!!!

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  8. Fair Damsel...
    Methinks thou art a Vixen in disguise!!!
    I shall keepith my One Good Eye on Thee.
    Delightful 55 Hedgewitch
    Many thanks for the Tale
    For a Kick Arse Week-End...Fair Thee Well!!!

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  9. Nice form and at 55 words at that ~

    Happy FF 55 ~

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  10. So many levels...I do hope I shall not be fooled by talking birds!

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  11. Oh, how clever! Even your props add up? I have a hard enough time finding 55 sensible words. Very good on many counts.

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    1. Ha! laughin @ the props. Yes, we keep careful track of such here at the armory of Castle Hedgewitch.

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  12. You certainly do manage to pack a lot into just a few words.

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  13. Wow -- you managed to do G-Man and Triolet--and a wonderful poem! Very arch (in perhaps all senses of the word - architectural as well as ironic) and cool. I like this talking bird flying and spreading the word (s-). K.

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  14. Eeek I'll run with the deer. ;-)

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  15. One of my favourite triolets today! I love the way you're able to evoke the atmosphere in this one.

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  16. I love this...your tweaking of the form served this well and you got a FF55 out of it too...excellent.

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  17. I love the mood and the tone of this, hedgewitch. Clever clever bird (and poetess).

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  18. Of course you nailed the form, no question to that and conceptually how you brought in modern day through past eyes sits perfectly for the sentiment. Lovely expression my friend! ~ Rose

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  19. Wonderful! Love the use of the image as well : )

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  20. darn you...I keep losing count of the pitch forks (OCD wins again ...HA)...I sent the G man a 55 triolet today :-)

    the words here are so appropriate for the image and voice ...stars

    Peace ☮

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  21. Lovely use of the form, calling up fairy tales at their best. I liked the satire as well, though I may have been one of the animals taking the goslings to task. Loved the idea of the talking bird let free:

    They burned the deer park, sealed the well
    unlocked the cage of the talking bird.

    I always loved the 1001 nights story aboutbthe caged bird. Is this the rebellion of fantasy on would-be misusers of fables? :)

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    1. Thanks, Charles. I love your reading--and glad some of the fable-ish feel came through. It's actually meant more as a political tale, and I'm afraid the talking bird isn't a good bird, really, sort of a Pandora's cage here.;_) I loved yours--another truly luminous poem--so much light in eight lines.

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  22. love how you weave fable and politics together here...esp. loved the unlocking the cage of the talking bird..and the falling of the castle can mean so much more than the falling of a castle..it could be the world, crashing at our feet...you did a great job with the form..kudos hedge

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    1. Thanks Claudia--was thinking of you when I chose the image.

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  23. This is a masterly triolet. I love the theme - and that lovely onomatopaoeic (sp?) word yowling!

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  24. It felt like the fall of the Bourbons and French monarchy to me. I loved the way you made this yours. The small break added to the drama. A history in 8 lines. Super.

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  25. Wonderfully imaginative use of the form; fairy-tale and current events seamlessly woven together to challenge us on so many levels.

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  26. Beautifully done. You've used the form well without being bound by it. Perfect.

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  27. Quite a hat-trick, wedging this roaring mouse of triolet neatly into two very different challenges -- and from the waste of Beckistan, no less. Sometimes a charm can also serve as curse, winnowing the causes on a time's ill wind. Amen - Brendan

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    1. Beef with form: you could have said a lot more -- and it would the sense would have been easier to dowse -- without the formal constrictions. Quite a girdle, but this is coming from someone who suffers from irritable vowel syndrome. (B)

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    2. Yes, and the consonants hurt even more, I'm told---but in this case, form was mostly using its triolet powers for Good, as it actually took the poem in a completely different direction. The somewhat indifferent free verse I cannibalized for it ran 5 quatrains of cry me a river which I couldn't figure out what to do with, so this little curse might otherwise never have been written at all. (And I think the last line is still not quite right--but there's always another day--it's not like I'm likely to run out of juice on this subject.) ;-) Thanks for the input, and for reading B.

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  28. Looks like you got two birds with one sword, er stone. Always good stuff here. Cheers.

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  29. Oooh I like this one! I especially like a poem, reliant on repetition, with subtle changes in those lines. This is excellent.

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  30. Unfortunately, too few of the serfs around here have enough enlightened self-interest to pick up a pitchfork.

    This is awesome.

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  31. Love it! It does sound like it could be an allegorical tale. Reminds me a bit of the book "Wicked."

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  32. I'm in awe. You got the triolet and 55 and politics too. Think I'm with the deer on this one.

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  33. Clever way of getting politics and fable intertwined. A talking bird is a nice twist,Joy! Grest1

    Hank

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  34. It was a real plus this week that the triolet could be worked into a 55. I sure love your triolet, especially the talking bird...well, the whole transportation to another time. What a scene. <;

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'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg