Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Sweetener

Sweetener


I.

I put you in my tea
tannic with memories;
stirred, they go down smoother
sipping on your ways.
Put on my plate you make
an evergreen presentation,
dressed in rue and fired clay,
so haute cuisine, salad of baby greens
tossed in hope and fear, before
the soup of dreams.

II.
I put you on the moon
sitting where she bends
your cloven feet a-dangle in 
their blurred and slippery stars.
You ease Orion’s belt, give cloudy listening blinks;
I whisper in your thunder covered ear until
you put me in the storm
flying with wings of rain 
where cold front meets the warm.

III.

I put you in my heart
little shop of horrors
cobweb seeded, only one
flyblown object on display but not
for sale. Pressed against the glass
your firefly face winks in the indigo night
where ribboned time slips tight in a lover's knot
and tea is sweet as your blue sky mouth my love, 
sweeter than floating memories dead in the pot.



March 2012

Posted for    real toads
Kerry's Wednesday Challenge, always original, and always really a challenge, was to write a poem in three distinct but united parts, reflecting the concept of a triptych in the visual arts.





Image: Tea Time, by Ellen Wilson of Ella's Edge
Borrowed from Real Toads Sunday Challenge with Ellen Wilson

16 comments:

  1. The whole thing is so original, taking something benign and imbuing it with a bartering the stakes of which are love and death.

    I especially admire the second stanza with the cloven feet dangling from the bend in the moon.

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  2. nice...delicious...it got better as it went along as well...i was prepared to say the second was my fav...until you took us into the shop of horrors...smiles...

    agree with shay on the cloven feet....

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  3. I think you did a delicious job with the prompt, hedgewitch. Each one so evocative and full of such ripe imagery. I don't have a favorite - I enjoyed them all so much.

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  4. I'm flattered you used my photos :D
    I love your poem...so many great lines~
    It exudes with such wonderful images!
    I love so many, but these are my fav:


    "Pressed against the glass
    your firefly face winks in the indigo night
    where ribboned time slips tight in a lover's knot
    and tea is sweet as your blue sky mouth my love,
    sweeter than floating memories dead in the pot."

    How powerful each section is; just wonderful!
    Bravo~

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Ella, for being so generous with your talent, and for the kind words.

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  5. this is {as of today anyway} my all-time favorite of your poems, Joy! there are just too many delectable phrases to quote one or two. this is better than southern sweet tea, girl!

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  6. Extraordinary;
    we slip from everyday images
    to the wide cosmos
    and then into the internal microcosm of the heart;
    and yet each part together forms a whole
    leaving me with a fleeting feeling
    deep, yet hard to define;
    exceptional writing.

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  7. Hellfire....that was so good. "I put you on the moon, sitting where she bends" great lines and comparing a heart to a little shop of horrors. Loved it. Homerun on this one, happy to be sitting at home plate when you round the bases for a high five and a victory dance.....great work.

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  8. Double Hellfire!! (Since my friend said it first!)

    This unfolded like the most amazing work of art, first one gold-embossed leaf, then the other until all was revealed. I thought part two utterly brilliant in showcasing your powers of imaginative writing and then number three blew me away, as you brought us back to the tea and the blue sky mouth.

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  9. And she's back with all her feral gusto intact! The triptych structure is an interesting one, because the speaker has to look three ways, or speak with three voices, and we don't know if the three compose a panoramic view of the past or simply deep and deep and deeper readings of it. The Irish love triads, and read their world three ways (its poetry has three voices--those of laughter, weeping and sleep). I descended in the latter sense reading this, getting down to the heart of the art - earth and heaven will always fail us, but the heart will never fail us, being the sugar-bowl we sweeten each next day's tea with. If not with hope, or optimism, at least the third view that keeps the others from tearing off their hinges. Lots of Hedgewitchean thrills here, the language dazzles, and three spoonfuls more than suffices. - B

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  10. Wow, kiddo, this is one of your most beautiful. I especially love "tossed in hop and fear before the soup of dreams", the feet "a-dangle in the stars", the blue sky mouth and the memories dead in the pot.

    Absolutely wonderful writing. Wowzers.

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  11. Amazing images expertly sculpted in words. You are very good at this! Great stuff, Hedge, great stuff.
    K

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  12. This is so creative and original with its language. My favorite is "dressed in rue and fired clay."

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  13. I don't know which I like better, the poem or the teapot...Argh! Do I have to choose? Seriously, I do love your poem. So many wonderful images and they swirled neatly and settled clearly at the bottom of the poem. :)

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  14. Captivating lines and great use of the given structure. This was really enjoyable.

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  15. golly, so much to love here. i like the first stanza best, or maybe relate to it the most, wrapped up in the soup of dreams. still trying to perfect that recipe over here.

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'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg