Sunday, September 16, 2012

From the Spiral Jar







From the Spiral Jar


The blue moon came and went
like you, my love, like you
but no wine wet enough 
was ever pressed
to wash away 
the taste of days sliced stale and
burnt bitter dry, pointlessly
buttered with memory.

~September 2012







Posted for   real toads
Sunday Challenge: Poetry for the Firefly Jar 
Kerry's challenge was to
 "...write a poetic fragment, which could be printed out, or scribbled on a post-it, or torn from a notepad and preserved in a jar of words..." 

I do most of my writing on the white screen and have no such jar, but I do keep many spiral notebooks in which I scribble down bits and sayings, and seeds I hope to someday grow into poems, as shown here.




Photoo of lines used in recent poems  ©  joyannjones  





26 comments:

  1. Ohhhh...what a lovely bit of poem. I like the meandering nature of the piece but also: I really loved the lines:

    no wine wet enough
    was ever pressed
    to wash away...

    you could complete that statement in twenty thousand different ways, but it would be just as strong given the strength of those words.....this would outshine the darkest dark set upon after a thousand suns burned to a shell. viva la hedgey!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm with Izy on those lines. They contain that element of perfection that no amount of rewording could improve and have a meaning which is instantly taken up by the reader's mind and made her own. I love the wistful mood of the blue moon, the sense of loss which pervades. The stanza could begin or end a longer poem, but is also self-contained.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Days as TOAST! Very clever, and without relief. Very true. Your photo, too, the spiral jars beautifully lit by some kind of blue moon.

    ReplyDelete
  4. smiles....i like the bread allusions there in the end...buttered with memory is pretty cool turn of phrase....and the wine washing away is def powerful as well....put the bread and wine together and it makes a great spiritual allusion as well...nice....

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love that you use "taste" here instead of "toast" which gives a kind of humor to the bitterness of it all--a sort of leavening, that works so well. Very clever. k.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This image is very clear to me: taste of days, sliced stale and burnt bitter dry ~

    Lovely share Hedge ~ Happy Sunday ~

    ReplyDelete
  7. Spreading a feeling of loss and waking to taste the sorrow, finding the glass, empty but the purple stain dried at the bottom. What a bit of bitter reality in such a sharp fragment.

    ps~I'm glad that you carry some of these pieces as seeds, how lovely.

    ReplyDelete
  8. A lovely and bittersweet snapshot of a lost connection. I like the opening with the transient blue moon.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Parting is not easy. The memory lingers on just as the blue moon. Nicely Joy!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
  10. WOW! Fantastic writing . Love "buttered with memory". Love the intriguing photos too.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thanks all--I really enjoyed this prompt and all the really interesting responses to it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is dense with meaning and reference. Really well done.

    ReplyDelete
  13. How beautiful this is! It waltzes across the page.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Goodness this bit of a poem speaks volumes...

    ReplyDelete
  15. I love the thought of you away from desk jotting bright bursts of inspiration, Hedge!!

    This fragment is a brilliant self-contained gem!!

    Much enjoyed! :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Wow, I love this..
    Each light was full of raw emotion
    oh, the but last line too my breath away!
    Yes, you did light up the jar with your wonder~
    :D Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm a grab-the-back-of-the-utility-envelope person who crams all into an ancient cigar box.

    Such lovely words to express that bitter disappointment... yet it shines all the same. "Pointlessly buttered with memory," what a line! You keep it goin' girl - Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/09/17/today-a-shadorma/

    ReplyDelete
  18. Exemplary in method, style, content and effect. Wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
  19. the taste of days sliced stale and
    burnt bitter dry

    Well, I could have copy and pasted the whole thing. Boy, I could only wish for such "fragments". SIGH.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Many vivid images in a small amount of space. I still like writing by hand. I find it meditative in a way. Maybe fueling some sort of creativity. I know what you mean about the way Knopfler "bends the strings". It may be too simplistic. But recognizing an artist through their instrument is pretty cool. The song is still running around my head.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Love seeing your notebooks. I still write all my poetry in a notebook before typing it up. You have such rich imagery in these few lines.

    ReplyDelete
  22. holy perfect pining poem. you knock my socks off, with regularity. thanks for that.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Beautiful and sad. This could be a short poem in itself or grow to be a lovely longer piece.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Love your metaphors, I can almost taste it. But bitterness is often akin to a love that can never be. For me such love can also be quite romantic.

    ReplyDelete
  25. sooooo beautiful, Joy! i love this from first line to last. you prove that poems don't have to be long to express complex emotions.

    ReplyDelete

'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg