Thursday, September 20, 2012

Night Words






Night Words



Darkness teaches
a thousand words for night
singed velvet obsidian sky
charcoal calico curtain
closing the lavender gloaming
ebony backed beast
with star reticulated hide

rolling the white of its moonshot eye
leaking quicksilver drops
of migrant meteors,
streaking stitches
to sew up wounds of void.

The absence of your voice
the wind murmur of the stalks
the rustle of your silence settling,
plucked notes of the owl inquisitor, plangent
from a puzzled branch, the old music
snowsoft on my lips;

I number the noises of night
until I lose count.


~September 2012





posted  for  Meeting the Bar   at dVerse Poets Pub
Claudia hosts tonight, and asks us to write about a moment of solitude. 








photo: drops,  © joyannjones

33 comments:

  1. the third stanza for me really evokes the moment...the wind in the stalks...the owl...its like i am on the back porch under the stars....a place i visit as often as i can...smiles.

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  2. From "a thousand" words to "lose count" of sounds ... I imagine this solitude as a date with fantasy, a date of passion and sometimes memory. (Perfect song for this.)

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  3. Really good sonics when the poem is read aloud with the alliteration making the words biblical in tone and rhythm that contrasts with the act of solitude at the heart of the poem

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  4. The night is so beautiful and you remind us of this. One of my favorite things to do is look up at the stars and listen to the music of night.

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  5. You evoke the atmosphere deftly. I felt the heat from the emotional core of this piece. Beautifully realized.

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  6. I'm still back at singed velvet obsidian sky… has there ever been a lovelier description of night? And then you sing even more. These sounds taught by dark will accompany me to sleep over here, six hours ahead of you.

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  7. plain and simple... loved it. especially the last two lines.

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  8. Ah, lovely. I think I especially liked the close somehow - all the p's very snowsoft. And the beginning makes me think of eskimoes- (inuits) and all the words for the snow, so that I think of darkness as a being so familiar with night that it knows all its phases and shades, and of course, the onlooker too has some familiarity.

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    1. Yes, that's where I got the idea--sort of hint it with the snowsoft at the end, but wanted to keep it low key. Thanks, k.

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    2. Well, you did it very beautifully.

      I should confess that I'm a complete sucker for anything with the word "plangent." But I'm not "suckered" here but "succored"! You can see that I am really asleep at my desk right now. Ha. k.

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    3. poor k--but this is still better than working. ;_)

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  9. I liked how eloquently sight fell into sound, becoming one.
    Night's a reflective bitch, aint she?
    Good write, hw
    rick

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    1. thank you rick--yes, she is and it always seems to rub off.

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  10. snowsoft on my lips...honestly...i licked my lips when reading this and hoped to feel how it feels...numbering the noises of night until losing count...i like..

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  11. Such a stillness, as I read your beautiful words. Just wonderful!The "velvet obsidian sky"...and the rolled "moonshot eye".......wowzers!

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  12. Joy, this is the kind of apex poetic that sends the rest of us scurrying back to the shadows, fearing that we shall never write a poem so beautiful, so sharp, so soft, so deep; loved it, and liked the line /ebony-backed beast/ a lot.

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  13. I adore that second stanza. The moon has often been likened to an eye, but not a rolling eye showing its white. It puts me in mind of a fearful horse.

    And "snowsoft"...sometimes you make these single words that are combinations like this, and they are just perfection.

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  14. Darkness teaches
    a thousand words for night...Love it.

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  15. To 'lose count' is the natural tendency when one gets engrossed in thoughts. Solitude can be therapeutic for many 'ills'. Nicely Joy!

    Hank

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  16. Wow--there is so much to appreciate here. That entire first stanza--that reticulated hide. Gorgeous. Loved this.

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  17. Such vivid images I can see and hear. I especially like:

    star reticulated hide


    rolling the white of its moonshot eye

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  18. A silent background for the noises of the night...they do seem countless... agree with Glenn too..

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  19. This is a beautiful paean to night and stillness ... I love it! Well penned and stated ...

    http://leapinelephants.blogspot.ca/2012/09/alone.html

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  20. oh Joy.. wonderful piece of language.. felt each word separate on my tongue. And yet the whole is a cunning weave of metal and velvet.. soft, yes, but only between the rasp of inquisitors, reticulations and hides. That works so well.

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  21. lush and mesmerizing. Love the way the piece is framed by the color of the images. In my own moments of solitude, I don't typically recall all the thoughts and patterns that take place, kind of like blackouts while conscious, or in the manner of dreaming, where the portion remembered is typically fragmented and then in symbol…anyhow though, my point being, that in these moments of solitude, while not being able to recall all thoughts, I do perceive colors, various colors and shades that seem to always occur while in such a state. These colors, framing the piece, are enhanced by the amazing symbol as metaphor choices for imaging. Awesome read, thanks.

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  22. I like this poem. Some terrific language and metaphor throughout. Using the night, an obvious time of solitude, but particularly the

    "...ebony backed beast
    with star reticulated hide"

    ..makes us feel that solitude as tiny little dots in the massive universe of stars, and is very powerful.

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  23. A beautiful and vivid write. You set the mood and scene very well. I love the closing lines!

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  24. Beautifully beautiful, almost enchanting this one...

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  25. almost stunned speechless by your first stanza. i kept reading it again and again. how can one group of words provide such layered lusciousness? someone above said.. enchanting. I would agree. there is a mystical quality to this. "the old music snowsoft on my lips" so evocative of time lapsing and darkness holding. precious.

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  26. Also love the first stanza...you've put into words my own feelings and I will save this because it nails it for me..would never have put the right words together I don't think...entire poem is heavenly..

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  27. a celestial celebration ~ i really do need to expand my vocabulary to include more words than exquisite, stunning, extraordinary! this is one of my favorites, Joy!

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  28. As the wife of one who travels much of the time, I can verify the truth you deftly share here. So many phrases to describe the missing.

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'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg