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| © Diana Matisz, All Rights Reserved. Used with permission. |
Moon Storm
(An etheree)
So
the storm
finally
came. Lightning climbed
the tree backwards, head
to the ground, stars tumbled
down in sweet bright sips of light
and the moon rose, kicking off her
slippers of clouds, indigo heart of
ocean in her palm, drinking stars for wine.
Dry Ice
(A Double Reverse Etheree)
Thru
clouded
sleet sweet lips
the moon panting
hung her painted tongue
down to the metal roof
still hot enough to melt hail
or jump-fry plagues of grasshoppers.
Her rilling drops slicked it with silver
moonspit, gleaming blind white: ice for fire.
She made a glacier from a light pool, frost
from dry-iced steel. Skating on the shine,
spidery light-wiggles wandered
from the lick of moon over
my clockwork hair, to my
impatient eye, so
my clockwork hair, to my
impatient eye, so
ready to
dream the
freeze.
~July 2013
posted for real toads
Weekend Challenge: Etheree(al)
I'm hosting our challenge this weekend, which is to write an etheree, a ten line poem which begins with one syllable and ends with ten. I've done a regular one, and then I've put two of them back to back, with the second reversed, just for fun.
Thanks, Diana, for the use of your lovely photo.
Thanks, Diana, for the use of your lovely photo.
Image: © Diana Matisz, All Rights Reserved. Used with permission.
Diana's photography blog is Life Through Blue Eyes, her flick'r stream is here, and her Redbubble store, where prints of her work are available, is here.
Like an amazing tumbling of sweet treats that can hardly be appreciated at one sitting. So many rich and luscious images. Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteOooh! Two for the price of one!!
ReplyDeleteI was lost in the imagery of the first, especially the lightning climbing the tree backwards and the moon kicking off her slippers, then I was lost in contemplation of a panting moon, and a beam of light like a tongue stretched down to the rooftops..What a splendid dream of winter days to come - seen in glacial moonlight.
Thank you for putting together a wonderful challenge for the toads, Hedge.
You're welcome, Kerry--after I finally stopped pulling my hair out, it was fun. Thanks for participating, and for reading. Your comments are always appreciated.
DeleteLove the photo and the etheree, I shall have a go
ReplyDeletebeautiful capture!
ReplyDeletelove the first one, but clockwork hair! wow.
ReplyDeleteBoth lovely - at first I liked the first best -- but on re-read -- well jump-fried grasshopper hard to beat! I guess it is pretty hot where you are!
ReplyDeleteAll the images very cool - hot--umm.....
The first one also -- the lightning standing on head. You use the form very well, in both truly, but in the second one gets a sense of the possibilities of reversal as you handle that so deftly. k.
Thanks, k. I wrote the second--or most of it--when it was in the triple digits here--it's quite cool and lovely this morning though. Hope you're getting some rest and relaxation in this weekend.
Delete... later this evening as I life wine glass to lips, I will remember 'drinking stars for wine.'
ReplyDelete"lift" (hate it when my fingers don't work)
DeleteBelieve me, I know the feeling(the fingers one--but the wine-lifting one , too.) ;_)
Deletelove the first one...so vivid...the reverse lightning, kicking off the shoes and drinking in the stars....very cool hedge...the moon hanging her tongue on the roof, ha what an image as well...clockwork hair...your phrasings are money joy.
ReplyDeleteso there is about a 12 hour lag....oy
DeleteYeah--not always, but a lot. Thanks for reading, bri.
DeleteLove the stars tumbles in sweet white sips from your first and in your second I love how the first half feels like labor to me. Well done on both!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the challenge, Hedge!
Incidentally, I was wondering if I'd done the form wrong...I didn't put a line between the mirrored part but I attempted the double reverse etheree but you mentioned in your comment to me that I'd taken on the freeverse so I was wondering if maybe I had loused up in the counting or something?
Both of these end so strongly, with the slippers of clouds and the clockwork hair. You and MZ make this form look easy, but I am not finding it to be so!
ReplyDeleteThese are definitely ethereal and so atmospheric. I love this form. I joined in (first time) by linking an old one: http://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2010/09/29/one-shot-wednesday-flight-off-of-half-dome/ Thanks for the prompt. Saw it on someone else's blog.
ReplyDeleteYou over-achiever you! First off, I very much like a glass of starwine. And I love your double etheree! The hot and the cold, and moonspit! Moonspit delights me for some peverse reason. :o)
ReplyDeleteHa! Of course it would. That's just how you are. ;_)
DeleteLovely work Hedge ~ The first one knocked me out, with the moon rising with slippers of clouds ~ The second one, etheree & reverse, had me dreaming of the freeze, ice for fire ~
ReplyDeleteyour last five lines of the second poem are killer in pitch, sensation, shape, and form. (the impatient eye, singular) your opening had me yearning to know the end once you introduced the panting moon's painted tongue. If I were searching for examples of an etheree, I would want these two to study. just brilliant.
ReplyDeleteSo many lines and words I just love. Like Mary, I think "moonspit" is spectacular, but I also love "Lightning climbed the tree backwards" and "still hot enough to...jump-fry plagues of grasshoppers"!
ReplyDeleteK
"Drinking stars for wine" Both are so beautiful..there is a feeling of magic in both of them. You are so talented. Your poems always leave me in awe.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful imagery!there is a wow! element here.
ReplyDeleteThe images in both of these are just gorgeous! I, too, love the lightning climbing the tree backward. You've managed to make such a tight form seem totally uncontrived. I'm in awe.
ReplyDeleteShow Off!!!
ReplyDeleteI really like the new words/images in both of these, like moonspit and lightening travelling up trees backwards.
ReplyDeleteJoy Ann, I love the etheree form and you handle it beautifully here. I love both, but my favourite is "Moon Storm". Some wicked imagery going on is both pieces. I hope all is well with you. I have been incredibly busy, when I am supposed to be relaxing. This is summer, right?
ReplyDeletePamela
I love me some moon poetry, hedgewitch, so this was perfect. :)
ReplyDeleteThese are terrific--the enjambment is always surprising as is the rhyme. k.
ReplyDelete