Sunday, September 8, 2013

Geisha



Geisha


He put her in a cage of words
so she could sing to him every night.
She lost the tune, her notes grew blurred;
she jigged in place in a cage of words,

peeping the tentative softness of birds
in the manic pluck, the mirror's bite.
He kept her in a cage of words
so she could weep for him every night.



~September 2013


posted for    real toads
Weekend Mini-Challenge: Dr Mouse Is In The House
Lolamouse makes Rorshachs for us and asks us to " choose an inkblot and write whatever comes to mind." She also said "If unstructured, free form thought causes you to become anxious, use your associations as a stepping stone to a more structured form. " This is a triolet, more or less.




Inkblot by Lolamouse

31 comments:

  1. Music of the spears is right. This is a terribly sad but powerful poem - a new favorite - the triolet works like a structure, bars both of music and of blockade, so fits perfectly. And the progression from the song to the dance to the peeping to the weeping is very powerful, strengthened by the internal/external rhymes I think, which create a kind of "downward" momentum - wonderful poem. k.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, k. This started out in the first person reversed, so the final form still feels a bit 'inside out' to me. But I think it fits the image, and the form helped tremendously.

      Delete
  2. I love the lyrical qualities peeping to weeping!
    It is a descent into madness, when we try to capture
    and contain any living thing, we objectify!

    I kept thinking of the canary in the cave~
    so very sad

    ReplyDelete
  3. the spin on compassion really gets me at the end. somewhere in the middle, I think where the last line of first and first line of last stanza reach each other, I am convinced that freedom has been accessed. her notes grow blurred, she jigged, the peeped. these all sing to me of letting go. It reminds me of the essential role we all have in finding our own sense of freedom no matter the external situation. wonderful, thought provoking write!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, the loss of freedom, the negativity is mutual, and perhaps the weeping of compassion is in the end a greater freedom than the keeping of fear. Thanks for reading, Jane.

      Delete
  4. After reading this the inkblot takes on new interpretations to how I first saw it... somewhere in the middle pert noses of bespeckled feathered hats of mature society ladies... the images may be caged by words but they shift as we do... a wider freedom (with risks) indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  5. We humans have to tether beauty to us... we must control it ... "She lost the tune, her notes grew blurred;"

    and then it dies and we wonder why. This is image to me looks like an upside down cracked heart. Beautiful, as always.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Cool pic and cool concept and beautiful poem, hedgewitch. Yes, there are some who take great pleasure in trapping others. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Excellent use of the form here, Hedge. It really adds to your theme of entrapment. Your interpretation is so creative - there is something both geisha and bird-like in the inkblots.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I, too, really like the triolet form for this. It underlines and accents the topic perfectly. I have known that cage. Yes, the peeping and the weeping.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This is incredibly beautiful. I see her, here. And a little bit of my past self, in her.

    ReplyDelete
  10. They say that turnabout is fair play, but this smells more like a dirty trick, to me. Poor geisha.

    ReplyDelete
  11. anyone kept in a cage will surely lose their song...its a sad reality...her weeping, i can hear...

    ReplyDelete
  12. I love triolets, and yours was painfully beautiful. "A cage of words" could have so many different meanings, but keeping someone in captivity of any kind results in loss of humanity for both the kept and the keeper. Dr. Mouse diagnoses you as thoughtful and compassionate and a bit melancholic.

    ReplyDelete
  13. All geishas lived in cages, surely.
    A sad song, my friend, with much truth. (I almost said "too much truth" but wondered if that can be.)
    K

    ReplyDelete
  14. Yes, the repetition brings that feeling of caged-ness, I think. So neat to see the contrast between your take and the one that came to me. I like the idea of a cage of words... :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Very sophisticated...I love how you turned the view point, when the object got changed...mirror....also I was thinking about Scheherazade's tails...

    ReplyDelete
  16. Losing the tune, losing the words ~~ must feel like drowning in one's own tears.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PS ... are you sure you don't see elephants ??????

      Delete
    2. Well....maybe skinny ones with alligator bodies, with their backs turned??? I think maybe the geishas, even in cages, are less disturbing. ;_)

      Delete
  17. Caging never works out, does it? How long does it take to figure that out. I realize you used Geishas and the cage made me think of other tortures, like binding women's feet.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Nice post, great blog, following :)

    Good Luck :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. That looks like Keith Richard's chest X-Ray!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Ha Ha... and I was just over at G-Man's ... Here is Mark Harmon (I have always loved this actor) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjWWcbnNHr0 His emotion is so sweet! And WHY do men age so gracefully? sigh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He is such a DOLL!!! Thanks, Margaret! My husband got me watching NCIS when it first started--I never *have* told him exactly why I hate to miss an episode. ;_)

      Delete
  21. The cage of words... that is such a strong prison... lovely piece and the triolet variation works so strong with that refrain.

    ReplyDelete

'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg