Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Glass Ring


bells 1
Glass Ring




Let 
me
ring like 
a bell of
glass, one clear sweet note
before I break into silence.



~September, 2013




posted for   real toads
Challenge: Words Count with Mama Zen
The often sparsely syllabular Mama Zen has asked us to write a poem which somehow reflects the number eight. This is a fibonacci poem(1/1/2/3/5/8) with 8 syllables in the last line (and also, eight lines counting title and date.)




28 comments:

  1. Ooo...beautiful, Hedge!! I love a great fib!! The play on sound in this is exquisite! Perfect image picked for this, too. :)

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  2. sweet, taut, smoothly spoken aloud, closes with sibilance

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  3. Cool poem and what a friggin stunning photo!

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  4. I love your multiple meanings in "break" and "ring," to me the implication being that an engagement ring or wedding ring (if not literal, then the symbol) is made of glass rather than diamonds. "Break into silence" is a phrase drowning in unspoken pain. This relationship is shattering you, but you crave one last sweet moment together before you disappear inside yourself. Not being with this person will me that you completely lose your "voice," your identity.

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  5. I love the inferences of meaning in your last line, Hedge. This is the perfect poem for this date.

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  6. are you sure this is joy? i think that is the least number of words i have ever seen you use...smiles....ring that bell, thats what i say....

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    Replies
    1. ha ha ha ha ... (sorry, I couldn't help laughing)

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  7. Agh, Beautiful! Really lovely. Just love that breaking into silence, such a wonderful reversal - an instant favorite - so clever and so right. And the glass ring such a funny play on brass ring too. Just great. k.

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  8. Such a beautiful example of the form....I love "break into silence"

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  9. Very nice. I love the sound, the feel, the wording, the picture - I just love the whole darn thing! Be u tee ful.

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  10. What a glorious wish. I think you ARE a glass bell any time you take up your pen.

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  11. I hear the tinkling .. the sweet sound of silence.

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  12. This is remarkable! It flows so seemingly effortlessly that I didn't even recognize it as a Fib at first! And it can be taken at so many levels. Gr8 job!

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  13. Every single word utterly perfect! I can HEAR that bell!

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  14. I don't know if it is the wine, but I am looking at that far glass near the bottom ... falling "breaking into (the) silence. I'm hearing the beauty of the rings, followed by catastrophe. Puts me in mine of 9/11.

    Yup, too much wine. :)

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  16. simple and pitch perfect joy.

    I have been giving a great deal of thought to length recently
    (with regards to poetry you understand :) and this PO really seals the deal, as I see it referring to itself, in terms of sharp impact.

    I must give some hard thought to this structure
    and with some exercise it may inform my practice.

    a glass bell. YES. CRACKING!

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  17. Looks like an act from The Ed Sullivan Show!

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    Replies
    1. I'm old enough to resemble that remark.

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  18. The phrase "breaking into silence" stopped me in my tracks, Hedge. Also, I cannot believe I recognized a Fibonacci before reading the process notes! Every syllable is a gem... so glad this was on the roster at Toads. Amy
    (PS I remember Topo Gigio, too...!)

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  19. Joy,
    My normal offering of over-analysis definitely not called for here...enough to say that you've stated something perfectly within the chosen form. Fine work.

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'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg