Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Appearance, Reality, And Blue Satin Shoes


Appearance, Reality, And Blue Satin Shoes
A Reverse Fibonacci






Pale
blue
satin shoes
sky to wear
cloudless on quick child feet
out of the Poor Box for a princess-
dancer suddenly real, skin deep in blue magic.
Then March, dissolving in slush-
slop black snowmelt,
 satin shed
broken
grey.



~March 2014






posted for     real toads
Kerry's Wednesday Challenge: Flashback Moment
Kerry O'Connor asks us to revisit an incident or scene from the past in the manner of a literary or cinematic flashback. This is taken from the experience of a third-grader, back in the day.





A fibonacci poem in simplest form consists of lines arranged in a word or syllable count of 1/1/2/3/5/8. A reverse Fibonacci counts down in the same sequence from the longest line(8) back to one. I have used a word count here.







Image courtesy google image search~no author known. 
Manipulated by joyannjones.


32 comments:

  1. Whew, sheesh, that's a cunning bit o' artifice there, a precise mirroring where history is quite merciful saving the flashback for much later. It's crafted and poised just like a figure in quatrieme devant (I think, googling here), spinning a life around the fate of that image. Whew, sheesh, whew. Can't write a more concise and telling eye of bat, Hedge ... B

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for making me do a little googling, too. I have been into the glossary of ballet terms before for poems and it is a very rich vocabulary. Yes, this little form is a nice one for enforcing concise and short writing without feeling much like a form--just the beat of the randomized(?) fibinacci spiral that turns up all over the place in nature. Thanks for your kind words, and for reading, as always.Brendan.

      Delete
  2. The shape of your Fibonacci poem is an excellent vehicle for your flashback moment - it swells with remembrance and then shrinks again to reality. I was reminded of Hans Christian Andersen's Red Shoes, then I paused to allow the realization that such a simple thing as a pair of shoes is a luxury many children in the world today are not afforded.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i did always have shoes--my grandparents provided sensible school shoes, one pair every fall and spring, and tennis shoes in summer--but never blue satin ones. ;_) And yes, many of the things we take as basic are luxuries to those who can't even imagine having them. Thanks Kerry.

      Delete
  3. Oh, little diamond! Why do children drag their treasures through the mud? I actually had a flashback while reading this of some of the slippers/shoes of my childhood with my sisters.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because they can't bear to be parted from them, because they are extensions of themselves that they have no idea can be harmed by exposure, and because, well--they're kids? ;_) Thanks Mark. I loved those shoes--I would probably have worn them to bed if I could have.

      Delete
  4. I love "cloudless on quick child feet". Loved this, Hedge.

    ReplyDelete
  5. There's a real ebb and flow to this in words and form - cool cool cool

    ReplyDelete
  6. Skin deep in blue magic...loved that.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Haven't all of us been through this!
    Mother was dismayed
    not pretty
    wasted
    $bucks$
    shame

    8/5/3/2/1/1 syllables
    neat Fibonacci
    I liked it
    your
    poem

    ReplyDelete
  8. What a great flashback! Love the image you chose to accompany it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love your choice of subject, the sound of this poem read aloud, and the stark difference in how the shoes appear to her. I like the title, as well.

    ReplyDelete
  10. beautiful. mud season is upon us here, beware, princesses!

    ReplyDelete
  11. blue turned grey...what a creative way to share a childhood flashback...

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is so concise and cleverly done-- I especially like the way that March works here both as weather and as the forced march of life that takes some of the dance step out of any princess-- shoes are ao evocative-- all the words have double meanings-- the shed the new herring box covering shoes have become but is also used as shed--taken off-- even take out of the poor box has this double weight as the shoes definitely take the girl out of the box of normality-- Slush very strong here in that way and the blue sky of the shoes like dancing on air-- here cloudless without silver lining-- i am on my phone which is frustrating as cannot really comment and look back at poem so will sign off but just love your compression here -- so evocative on the surface in part because of the double edges. K

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, k. Shoes are indeed evocative--thinking of that Magritte painting where they seem more alive than the feet themselves--also laughing at the herring box reference! That was a childhood memory too, for sure. As always you pick up on all the sneaky stuff. I like this form a lot--it makes you think many times about which words say what you want, and choose accordingly. Thanks for wrestling with your infernal device to leave your thoughts and impressions, always valued.

      Delete
    2. I need to get a new computer. Mine is still working but sporadically winks out and I need to let it charge down== I am worried that a day will come when it doesn't charge up again and what will I do with what's on it--not all saved--but just haven't had time to figure out the replacement. It is a good excuse for incoherence, which might unfortunately, be my state anyway. k.

      Delete
    3. I just went through that PITA, replacing the PC--all I can say is avoid Windows 8 if you have any choice--though I think you are an Apple person, so you are spared the horrors.. Toshiba makes a nice little back-up drive that runs around 60 bucks and holds a ton, easy to use, backs up and restores with its own software, etc. After losing a years worth off the blog and having to go in and copy-paste three hundred some poems, I decided I am not going without back-up again. Good luck on the comp.

      Delete
  13. I pictured a little girl, placing her ballet shoes and becoming the dancer, the princess - it was magical - thank you

    ReplyDelete
  14. interesting form to use for this...its a nice condensing that allows for compact emotion as well...to get such a treasure would be an uplift...and arriving...a feeling of special and worth...then to have them fall apart would be tragic....

    ReplyDelete
  15. I remember getting clothes from the church donations for the poor. Blue satin slippers would be a dream score. And then never want to take them off hence the awful letdown of slush damage. I related closely to this.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Very lilty and cool - love the sliding of the images and words.

    ReplyDelete
  17. really, Hedge, marvelously constructed. poignantly brushed - a gem ~

    ReplyDelete
  18. Make a Hot Toddy
    Recline
    Have a Kick Ass Week-End...G
    Thats an Order!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wow, Hedge...I'm amazed at the depth of story you bring in brevity...skillful writing...I very much enjoyed.

    ReplyDelete
  20. So, that is what happened to my shoes, Joy Ann? Nicely done. I will say that is quite a story told with such conciseness. Sorry for the super late visit.

    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Always good to see you stop by, pamela. But i would have pulled all your hair out back then if you tried to say those were your shoes. ;_)

      Delete
  21. wear that magic deep into the grey earth. what use is it floating in the clouds, anyway? I sure enjoyed this poem, Hedge. I remember using the shiny tips of my red shoes to brake while riding my tricycle. I have no idea what my mother thought of this and no recollection of being reprimanded. We were definitely hovering right near the poverty line, as far as middle America goes. I don't remember appreciating the frivolity of the shoes as much as I did their beauty. Such a short piece packed with nostalgia, magic, and the threads of deep truth that make it memorable. I esp. love your transition between lines 4 and 5 and also the effective taper to finish.

    ReplyDelete

'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg