Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Winter Blue








Winter Blue


Snow
like a cyclone of flour
outside.
Here behind the door,
wherever your arm falls
you hold me,
independent of the course of your thoughts.

I can’t see your face
behind those lidded lights but I know
I’m sitting on some stairs
on some streetcorner of your mind,
a long walk
down dark allies…

But then you look down
homemade light makes windows of your eyes.
Your body pours
like milk into mine.

In the evening
leaving your brown fire,
going into the white world
I melt the snow into smoke with my steps,
and keep the frost off my face
with my tears.



December 1972




Posted for Magpie Tales # 43   

One of my earlier poems that just happened to fit the prompt...

25 comments:

  1. Beautiful. 'Homemade light makes windows of your eyes'. Very lovely.

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  2. Wonderful poem; I like the line /snow/like
    a cyclone of flour outside/. Great hook
    for a tender and sad read, wherein
    after eros we take that cold walk
    home with the narrator.

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  3. Oh, I'm lovin that last stanza.

    You'd have cried harder if you had known how stupid the rest of the 70s were going to be!

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  4. Thanks all. I was quite young here. Not that I could appreciate it...

    @FB NSS. If I'd known how stupid the rest of the Seventies was going to be AND that they would be followed by the 80's, 90's and two thousandsies,...well, it's just better we don't know these things. I still want to try the Merlin approach and age backwards...

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  5. 1972 - wow! You're a talented writer. "brown fire" - unique! And I loved the flour image for the snow gathering.

    This poem made me feel blue...

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  6. A cyclone of flour - lovely description...

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  7. There's pain in your lovely poem. But that was long ago . . .

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  8. Yes, a lovely and sad poem. Thanks

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  9. nice...some strong contrasting emotions through out...the heat of the passion melting snow but the tears...hmmm....

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  10. A lovely bit of nostalgia from the 70s.

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  11. this is lovely
    i especially loved the "streetcorner of your mind"
    this is a great picture you're giving us!

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  12. beautiful flow..
    lovely winter imagery with superb wit in it.

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  13. love that last stanza....great write 1972...I remember it...bkm

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  14. "Streetcorner of your mind"...that really tells it...Emotions here and there...terrific!!

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  15. Quite lovely and some beautiful word pictures here... I loved 'homemade light makes windows of your eyes.'

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  16. lovely poem that made me a bit mellow
    and that is a good thing as I remember

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  17. You have some amazing imagery in here. I love your cyclone of flour.

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  18. Many thanks all, as always, for your kind words, thoughts and impressions. Especially for one of those early poems you scratch on a napkin on your lunch hour because you don't have enough time for anything but living. I appreciate you all taking the time to comment.

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  19. this is so fantastic! I especially love the last stanza, it's so heavy with emotion.

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  20. That's really lovely. Well done.

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  21. Some fine images underpinning this melancholy piece.

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  22. Dear Verse Escape: This is an amazing coincidence and so nicely fitting the prompt from 1972? You're kidding me, right? Yes, you're not kidding me! I am blown over with the puff of white flour!

    Your body pours
    like milk into mine.

    Superlative GRade A imagery!

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  23. Stunning imagery! And the analogies are mind blowing really!
    "cyclone of flour" - I was floored by reading just this...
    The rest of the poem was a treat to the eyes! I think I read it unblinking, lest I miss something.. some emotion.. some feeling..

    Beautiful!

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'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg