Thursday, August 4, 2011

Friday Flash 55 ~ Pastorale



Pastorale

A large panting old woman
chases a small panting old dog
chasing a large indifferent cow
in punishing heat.

It’s slapstick, but you say
there’s a poem here.
I’m looking for it.

Is it
maybe there,

where two beings
exchange a speaking
shared look of
annoyed patience;

that woman
and someone's dinner?


August 2011



Posted for  Friday Flash 55   at  the G-Man's

Thanks to Brian Miller, of Waystation One  for the inspiration for this one.








22 comments:

  1. oooohh, it's enough to almost make me a vegetarian! almost..;)

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  2. Hedgewitch ...
    A pensive, bucolic little Gem
    Loved your 55 My Friend.
    Thank you for playing and for your Great Support,
    and have a Kick Ass Week-End

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  3. haha...glad you ised this...smiles...i was going to but...lol...here you go...

    mooooving experience

    out the door the dog,
    followed by a woman

    over the fence, at bovine expense
    perhaps canine nonsense

    she pants

    damn its hot, dawg
    aint you no sense

    oh no, cow seeks recompense

    to the house flies the dog
    followed close by the woman

    the hooved one smiles
    as he steps on the keys.

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  4. LOL, I love it. Especially the last line.

    - Alice

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  5. @G-man--thanks my friend. I've got a cold Dos Equis for ya here somewhere...

    @AA: Brian's was supposed to be funny. Mine wasn't. Thanks anyway.

    @Brian--Great title. I like the new trimmed down verse express, delivered to my door. I never carry my keys out into the neighbors pasture though. Fortunately. ;-)

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  6. "a speaking
    shared look"

    Love it!

    I'm up here.

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  7. I keep reading your poem, writing something not meaningful enough in the comment box, deleting the comment, reading your poem, writing something not clever enough in the comment box, deleting the comment, reading your poem

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  8. You're terrible, really. I see that sweet picture and think it's so nice, and start reading, then you wrap up cow mom in plastic and stick her in the grocery aisle. As the Morrissey song says, "Why can't you change, change and be nice?"

    But you'll probably just go on swinging that bicycle chain. Hey! I need that!

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  9. Quite a quandary, that pastorale ... I love the first two stanzas, stretched to grok the second three. 55 words is such a corset ... it must be a mighty struggle to come up with singular words to fill up so much narrative and didactic space. I was left wondering why the woman was chasing the dog in the first place, and why the bovine would "share" that look of "annoyed patience." I've said it here before with these Flash 55 challenges -- they may be perfect mcnuggets for attention starved readers, but compression can only go so far in my poetry book. I would suggest -- humbly, and with great admiration -- that this poem is a cautionary antithesis to the sentiment of today's Form Friday at d'Verse poets. I'm starved for more meat here. Still, a shot o' Hedgewitch is far more quenching than the epical Brendanesque deep sea ... B

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  10. Loved the word-play and Brian's follow up! Never a dull moment 'round these parts. And Shay's right... you swing a mean chain :)

    Love it.

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  11. @Ti & FB: Thanks for getting it. I was beginning to think I was speaking a foreign language. ;-)

    @Lydia: I think you left an extremely good comment. Thanks a lot for reading.

    @B: Re: your last sentence--I beg to differ-- the cool blue-green ocean depths are extremely appealing right now--but then they always are when you dip your pen in them.

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  12. Oh this is too cute. If I wasn't already a vegetarian it would convert me.

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  13. It's too hot to chase anything here! :)

    Have a good weekend.

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  14. This took me by surprise and I love it! :)

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  15. i can't bear to think of the living animal that meat of any kind comes from. i'm too much of a carnivore {and maybe too evil} to ever become a vegetarian though.

    great 55!

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  16. Thanks Dani. I know if I had to kill and prepare my own meat, I would be one, for sure.

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  17. I love it~

    Nice picture to go along with it too ~

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  18. Fun one! I could sure see the fiasco of all that running and panting.

    I remember once when I was a kid, a whole family of neighbors were chasing their horse down the road in their pyjamas!! :0

    I have a 55 up here in case you have time to blog-hop. I know you are busy. I see you are doing that awesome dVerse linking -- looks great. I'll be in one of these days I get down from my wine-drinking tree for longer than usual.

    xo

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  19. This is witty and fun!!!
    Sunday Hugs xoxox

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'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg