Friday, December 2, 2011

Weather Maker


Weather Maker



There’s an upper level disturbance
headed in I can feel it 
moving blue in dark distance
stripping things naked
the easier to freeze.

Significant moisture may occur with this front
localized showers even frost is likely 
tangled in lashes 
with flash flooding possible
where swollen waterways spill.

A low pressure system
is the weather maker
laying on my chest
working to bring in the flurries
as I breathe out white clouds of you.

Should this system become
more organized
heavy accumulation
of sleet and ice is expected
in some parts of the heart.




December 2011



Posted for dVerse

Gay Cannon has written an excellent article on the poetic devices of image, metaphor, allegory, simile, etc. I think there's some of that lurking in here somewhere.











21 comments:

  1. An analogy to send shivers along nerve-endings: the cold front of a broken heart approaches.

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  2. you trying to give me frost bite reading this...smiles...it is cold here...this weekend is the turn to winter but it can certainly happen in relationships as well...nice hedge

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  3. From what I understand, the cause of all storms is the earth's atmosphere's endless--and hopeless--attempt to achieve a global constancy at one median temperature. When low pressure meets high, when cold meets warm, the result is storms, which release tremendous electrical charges and create temporary balance.

    So anyway...to use weather as a metaphor for emotional storms, is particularly apt, and you've done it splendidly.

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  4. there are people and circumstances that can freeze our whole life.. hand me a candle and a warm towel...i can't stand the cold.. great job on the metaphor front hedge..

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  5. Oh I like this! Great metaphor with good word play and a clear message.

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  6. This is totally brilliant, kiddo. The last stanza especially is absolute perfection.

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  7. WOW... I'm just awed .... yeah that cold front ...

    My favourite lines:

    laying on my chest
    working to bring in the flurries
    as I breathe out white clouds of you.

    Should this system become
    more organized
    heavy accumulation
    of sleet and ice is expected
    in some parts of the heart.

    Awesome!

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  8. Love it! It is a weather report allegory as familiar as 5:25 and yet only you could stretch it every so slightly in wording to become that expectation of a romance being terminated as a result of a cold front and the frost settling in the heart behind it. Excellent. Thank you for writing and linking today, my friend. I appreciate it.

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  9. Thanks all, and special thanks to those of you who've reached out with friendship and comfort in the last few days--it means a lot.

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  10. Stanza 1 is chilling. And the rest describing love's loss with the detachment/familiarity of the weather report is heart breaking and brilliant.

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  11. Love this:

    "heavy accumulation
    of sleet and ice is expected
    in some parts of the heart"

    iamthat-shawna.blogspot.com

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  12. There certainly is some of that lurking in here somewhere. Your meteorological metaphor is a powerful device here and leaves firm emotional imprint.

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  13. Wonderful wonderful last stanza. Whole poem lovely. K.

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  14. Oh I hope the storm passes you by - this is a stunning write

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  15. I hope you're no longer under the weather. :)

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  16. Thanks, Tug, I'm much better. I hate this time of year.

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  17. This is so excellent...the poetry is throughout the piecewith no empty spots or letup. The last stanza is a perfect and crushing finale.

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  18. The bare naked vulnerability of love is so well rendered here, and I love those white clouds breathed out, even if the speaker is frost bitten.

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'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg