Sunday, April 14, 2013

Sevenling: Thin Air



Sevenling (Thin Air)
for Max, at 9 years





Thin air behind, I look at the sails,
belled out and blowing, heaped like pails,
and see the face of invisible wind.

Thin air all 'round, in your eyes' wide light
radiant, unclouded, fledgeling bright
dancing the wave where your smiles begin

I see the full push of invisible joy.





~April, 2013





posted for   real toads
Challenge: Joaquin Sorolla
My challenge for today was to write a brief poem inspired by one of the paintings of Spanish Impressionist Joaquin Sorolla y Bastida. Doing it in a short form was optional; I chose the sevenling.







The sevenling is a form originally derived from a poem by Anna Ahkmatova, consisting of seven lines, with two tercets containing three details or elements each, and a concluding single line that stands apart. Rhyme and meter are not stipulated.






Images: Valencian Boats, and The Young Yachtsman, by Joaquin Sorolla
Public domain, via wikipaintings.org.



26 comments:

  1. Wow, look at those sails! I think the one at the bottom is more my speed. ;-)

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  2. smiles.

    i want to say 'lovely'
    just to keep up the train of one word comments....
    heh
    i like the elements...the kid, the boat..and in watching them
    i find much joy. thanks joy, smiles.
    catch you on the flip side

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  3. Hedge, I don't think that you could possibly have chosen better subject matter. Go, Max!

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  4. I'd love some of that joy, wonderful poetry

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  5. Wonderfully written - I love "heaped like pails" and "dancing the wave where your smiles begin."

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  6. I love this poem,,,especially the last line,,,lately I am having an emotional response to poetry as opposed to thinking technically (must be the moon), this one left me with a lovely feeling,,

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  7. Flat is not flat! That is entirely correct both as far as the painting and your poem is concerned. The movement Sorolla created in his Valencian Boats is incredible, and you have rendered it so lovingly in words. I love the sounds of all your words, especially in the first stanza.

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  8. This is just lovely - really a wonderful comparison, so well done. Form works superbly for you, or rather you work it. k.

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  9. This is so beautiful. I love the pull and push of invisible joy. I needed this bright encouraging poem.

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  10. somehow i just love the phrase "full push" here. wonderful.
    i forgot about the sevenling. hmmmmm.

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  11. I like both your lovely poem and the prompt. Another sevenling as I read along. It flows very well. I must go remind myself what a sevenling is!! Thanks for the inspiration.

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  12. You took the form and made it yours. This is perfect.
    K

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  13. Your poem gives me joy :D
    Nicely done...

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  14. That last line is specially joyful ~ Lovely sevenling poem ~

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  15. incredible levity and joy sing here. I am way behind on reading as have been away from gadgets for three days. This was a beautiful, light, genuinely-poetic piece to come back to. Excited to catch up on the rest of your weekend's work after resting my eyes from travel. `jane

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    Replies
    1. Getting away from gadgets can be a really good thing. Thanks, Jane--glad you enjoyed.

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  16. I am on my way, a little get-away. Received your gift before I left, tucked it in my bag, hope to have some time to spend with it! Can't wait....Thank you so much! Enjoyed this Thin Air!

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    1. Have a great trip, Annell--hope you enjoy the book.

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  17. Beautiful, Joy, you captured the light and colors of the painting with your vivid words. Thank you for a delightful challenge :)

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  18. Beautiful, all the more so because you dedicated it to Max.

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  19. I see the face of invisible wind is PURE JOY! This painting intrigued me and I can't wait to forward his name to Chelsea (she probably has already heard of him ;) the other line that I sank into was ...dancing the wave where your smiles begin. So much beauty in 7 lines!

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  20. loved the transparency of your lines... also, the lightness as the wind

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  21. I wanted to say I also love the paintings you chose and thanks for introduction to Sorollo. K.

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'Poetry is an echo asking a shadow to dance' ~Carl Sandburg