Unwinding
Turn down the twist
in the ticking
will you;
the flickering,
take it away
from the weave.
Bring some quiet
even if
it only comes in black.
even if
it only comes in black.
Drop it
like snowdazzle
into the tic of the eye
and lay a cover
over the clutter
of what must rest
before it breathes again.
~May 2013
posted for real toads
Challenge: Interpretation with Margaret
The artist's eye of Margaret Bednar once again presents us with inspiration derived from the works of a talented group of young artists. The image above is the copyrighted work of Chelsea Bednar, and used with permission, for which much thanks. .
Especially like the close here. I think of clutter as being "and all the rest" and love the idea of clutter needing rest. Kind of like the twists of synapses or brain. k.
ReplyDeleteSuch a remarkable twist of words, line breaks and imagery here, Hedge. You have taken abstract art and given it voice.
ReplyDeleteYes!! I second Kerry's comment!! :)
DeleteWe are all over Chelsea's stuff today, Hedge. You found what Kerry called the "dark and twisty" side here, almost malevolent. A smothered mass of mystery. Artwork brings out the best in you, huh? "Bring some quiet, even if it only comes in black," amazing phrasing. Amy
ReplyDeleteI really liked this one, after I read it in my head I just had to read it aloud.
ReplyDeleteLove the sound play throughout, (as always...makes my ears so happy!!)...and I LOVE the whole idea of the necessitousness in reprieve, the moments between ticking moments...space to breathe.
ReplyDeleteYou composed this in a brilliant way creating the feeling of the image in words so well, Hedge!
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ReplyDeleteAnd, without the Typonese, this time:
ReplyDeletelike the way you have arranged this, and how the lines divide.
A winding sheet to unwind into the next life? As a believer in reincarnation, you know I love the notion of rest before breathing again. My word but those little clocks tucked away in the picture got your creativity going in a fine way.
Thanks, Shay, and everyone--have a massive headache, possibly weather-related as it is close and humid and stormy feeling--so bear with me and I will be by tomorrow to visit, all.
ReplyDeleteugh, sorry to hear you have a head ache joy...hope you feel better on the morrow...it did not deter you in spinning the words, love the rhythm and rhyme in this...like the dropping in the tic of the eye...hope you get a bit of that silence as well...
ReplyDeleteI so love "snowdazzle".....and "take it away from the weave. Bring some quiet".
ReplyDeleteFunny you say you have a headache ... as I was reading this, the "Bring some quiet even if it only comes in black" made me immediately think of how I seek the soothing darkness when I have a migraine or feel one coming on. This is a whisper of a poem... one that takes what some see as scary and turns it into comfort. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteI love this. It made me see the entire world as a messy bed, with yet some bulbs needing restful sleep or ending. The controlled and measured quartets are so calm, they add to the tension.
ReplyDeleteI love this, the twists and line breaks, the ways it takes words and turns their usual meanings. Well done. Thank you for this one. I'm sorry you are suffering a migraine.
ReplyDeleteLove the poem and I hope you are feeling better. I've had a migraine that won't go away...
ReplyDeleteThe opening stanza really captured the picture. You brought a nice twist to the poem. Life is sometimes twisted. Hope you are on the mend.
ReplyDeleteVery commanding and i guess, you need to be for unwinding! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone--not subject to migraines, thank goodness, just a normal headache, which is now gone. Thanks for the kind words and wishes.
ReplyDeleteThis is creepy calm. Splendid, unsettling work.
ReplyDeleteYour poem reminded me of migraines (too).. the visual aura (flickering) the need for total quiet and darkness (under a cover) .. I suffered with them for years, cycling out after menopause (who knew.)
ReplyDelete"Bring some quiet even if it only comes in black." Love that! I've known that feeling!
ReplyDeleteYour poem also made me think of headaches. I don't like them because they get me in my head, and that's where I live.
ReplyDeleteYou certainly provoked identification-responses among the Toads with this one. I'm glad you're feeling better.
K
Oh, but this wound and wended so beautifully, hedgewitch.
ReplyDeleteThis is my second time back here to read this one, Hedge. The first time I read, I had one of those strong emotional responses and couldn't find words. This time, I'm having a completely dif. experience. (god, i love poetry for that) Your voice seems to pierce the chaos with a plea for sanity. Asking for reprieve from -not only time itself-but also the attachment to time. Your finishing stanza offers a solution, simple and clear. I really enjoyed this.
ReplyDeletehey ya...i hope in all the storms you are doing ok...thoughts for you this morning...
ReplyDeleteAll is well at our house--we were missed--but unbelievable damage to our south...terrifying.
DeleteYour poem made me think of The Snow Queen and being blinded by beauty.
ReplyDelete