Sunday, October 17, 2021

The Departing

 
 
 

 
 
 
The Departing
 
 
They met in meadowsweet and rue
when the moon began to sicken
when her breath began to thicken
when the golden note was stricken
from the songbird-ingenue.
 
The melancholy flies
buzzed the compass that was broken
ate the opium, her token
for a malady unspoken,
her copper curse of cries,
her pomegranate skies.
 
He held her hand again
though the remedy was shattered,
though all was lost that mattered,
tho someone's blood still splattered
as the now replaced the then
and the hand let go the pen.
 
All in white she'll be
when they walk to their last wedding,
when they meet what they've been dreading.
When last lustre becomes a leaden
shroud above the sea, there'll be
 only he.
 
 
 
 October 2021
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
a second effort for Fireblossom








Note: This poem was written with the aid of a word list I culled from Poe's The Fall of the House of Usher:
 
compass
lustre
pomegranate
shroud
rue
remedy
malady
melancholy
copper
opium eater
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Image via Sunday Muse, attribution unknown, Fair Use

15 comments:

  1. Oh, I love this! From "songbird-ingenue" (!) to the gloomy finish, this is both fun and foreboding (a rather neat trick!) The rhyme scheme or form that you have used is a marvelous homage to our man Eddie. Well done!

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    1. Thanks, Shay. I loved this pic and was reluctant to give it up, and so I sought inspiration with Poe. Glad you enjoyed.

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  2. So great! I felt like I was reading a lost poem of Poe's. Really amazing you pulled that off, not just the rhyming and incorporating the word list, but his sense. Too many perfect lines to quote, but I thought the "leaden shroud above the sea" was brilliant. I'm fighting for breath as that coffin lid closes, and yet there is still the wide world, the dreadful sky empty and alone.

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    1. Thanks,qbit. I'm a huge and life-long fan of Poe.

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  3. I love the songbird-ingenue, and the slow slide to that last wedding, leaving only he......masterfully done, Joy. It is so wonderful to read you.

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    1. Thank you, dear Sherry.i really liked your poem to this image, also.

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  4. I love the form Joy it adds to the eerie feel of the image and the poems intent!! I also love that it was partly inspired by the Poe word list!!

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  5. Seeing your word list and where it came from makes the poem all the sweeter. There is a lyrical quality to this that could be the first song in a new Andrew Lloyd Webber musical.

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  6. poe-fect. (sorry)

    I love the rhyme and cadence, but most of all the last couplet in the penultimate stanza. ~

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  7. A great nod to Poe. You have captured his style beautifully.

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  8. this is beautiful joy, love all the sounds, i wasn't surprised to hear poe's name as inspiration in this because of the sound, and the tone. the second stanza particularly sound-ful:

    The melancholy flies
    buzzed the compass that was broken
    ate the opium, her token
    for a malady unspoken,
    her copper curse of cries,
    her pomegranate skies.

    enjoyed very much joy

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    1. Thanks, Phillip. Always good to see you here, and glad you could dig the Poe.

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  9. If Poe wrote love-songs, they might charm as this. An ode between the realms, "the departing." Each stanza's charm in triple rhyme arrests one at the border and holds something there -- what? A line of sight from departing toward departed. All the energy resides there. Not a fan of word challenges but you show how to shake the mandrake from the dross. I knew your blunderbuss would recharge in its long dark. An awesome, awful sound as this trigger cinches back.

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    1. Thanks, B. two days ago was the second anniversary of my husband's death. It's preoccupying, as death and subsequent moving parts removed from our intricate clockwork worlds forever always are, but writing is a way of seeing, isn't it? Appreciate your comments and sorry I took so long to get to them.

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"We make out of the quarrel with others, rhetoric, out of the quarrel with ourselves, poetry." ~William Butler Yeats