Shay(Fireblossom) at the Word Garden has nominated me for some oddball award these crazy young whippersnapper intertubes people pass around, which requires that I bare my soul to a universe of prurient strangers. Oh, I don’t have to write a poem? No, I merely have to list seven unusual, unknown things about myself. Apparently this process conveys an automatic gift of stylishness which will overcome all natural laws hitherto prevailing in my life, which is about as stylish as a wen on Kate Millhouse’s cheek would be. Oh, it’s Middleton? My bad. Anyway, here are seven diverting and deeply secret things about me which should disqualify me for any kind of stylishness accolades, but seemingly, like so much of life, have the opposite effect:
- I have never had a manicure. Well, when I was little, my mother sawed my nails off with a dull scissors, and painted them fire engine red a lot, but I’m assuming that doesn’t count.
- My first pet was a cricket which I caught under the streetlights one night when I was about nine and kept in a little cardboard box. I was devastated when the Mean Little Boy in the upstairs apartment told me it was not a cricket but a gross giant waterbug. My budding interest in entomolgy died at that point.
- I have named all my cars. And bikes. And computers. My current computer is called The Beast, and my car is V*ger, as in the Star Trek movie.
- I am not a packrat per se, yet I find it impossible to throw out articles of clothing I have worn in some positive and happy context, which have long ago ceased to fit me or ever even remotely have the possibility of being worn again unless we have world famine and I also contract a wasting disease. I have a red velvet mirrored Mexican Wedding Dress from 1969 that is only recognzable as a piece of clothing by supreme efforts of the imagination, yet still sits in my closet, barely holding together enough to stay on the hanger.
- I had a horrible maiden name which is so secret in my whole life I have only told three people who didn’t know me then. No, I’m not telling it here, either. Suffice it to say, all my married names have been words of one syllable. I won't say I actually chose my husbands for this reason, but it certainly didn't hurt their chances.
- I love reading and won a prize for reading the most books in my entire school over the course of a year in fourth grade. It’s one of my proudest accomplishments.
- My least stylish secret: when I was twelve I promised my grandmother (born in the early 1900’s) never to wear make-up. This request came about because of my mother, who liked to shock her with-- you guessed it-- fire engine red 40’s style lipstick, plucked eyebrows, coal black mascara and bright green eyeshadow. I kept that promise as long as she lived, and seldom wear anything but powder and a little neutral lip gloss even now when I probably desperately need a full paint job.
Many thanks to my dear friend Shay, especially for listing me among her favorite poets, and I am passing this stylish award on to Sherry Blue Sky, at StarDreaming, and even though he's a guy, the most stylish-est of bloggers, Galen (aka the G-Man) at Mr Know-it-All
If this award were instead for most serious, substantive, topical and diverse blog, I would pass it on to my friend, writer, photographer and post-modern Renaissance man, Petteri Sulonen, who runs a little place called Come to think of it, as well as helping me here with my technical issues. He writes on everything from politics to Zen Buddhism with insight and clarity. His current post is on renewable energy, well worth reading.
I'd also like to thank one of my favorite poets,and one of the most gifted, Brendan at Oran's Well, for including me in a list of twelve recommended online poets. The entire list is well worth exploring for those who love poetry, not least of all Brendan's own site.
Congrats, really?, and aw shucks. You would make Cerridwen proud. Verse Escape is a 4D chess game I navigate only the thinnest dimensions of to my eternal detriment. I'll bet we checked out some of the same books from the Cook County Library System (the earmarks were mine, the toothmarks, I'll venture, yours). I'll be sure to check out Sherry Blue Sky and G-Man. - BrendanReplyDelete
Did you read Mara, Daughter of the Nile and Clara Barton Junior Nurse? I was quite girly back in those days. ;-)Also devoured, leaving toothmarks for sure, all of Albert Payson Terhune's dog books, and the entire Black Stallion, Nancy Drew, and Hardy Boys epics.ReplyDelete
Thanks again, Brendan, for doing me the honor of reading my work, and passing it around. I get as much enjoyment from your poems as i got from all those books I just listed, which is the best homage I can give.
Congratulations, my friend. If anyone deserves an award, you do. And I'm completely gobsmacked, not to mention honored and touched, by the recommendation.ReplyDelete
Ack! Now I have to do The Big Reveal? Thanks....I think! I so enjoyed reading these, Joy. I, too, have never had a manicure. I keep my nails cut right off. How do people TYPE with those long spears on the ends of their pinkies? Love the photo of you with the big bunny. I will try to come up with something in due time......ReplyDelete
Yes, Sherry, the World must know All now. But in return you get to be Stylish. Good luck with that, I say. I think mine will wear off pretty quick. ;-)ReplyDelete
And Petteri, it's my pleasure entirely(and also the pleasure of anyone who drops by your place to read your work there.) I would have passed this on to both you and Brendan, but Stylish is just not the word that leaps to mind for what you both, in your different ways, tackle on your blogs. Thanks for all the help you give me here, and for being so generous with my use of your excellent and evocative photos.
I'm betting you could rock that dress, Hedge!ReplyDelete
Oh yes, if I had a time machine. Now I'd be lucky to fit into it as a head rag.ReplyDelete
way to go! :)ReplyDelete
ok i see multiplepoems contained in these secrets....how about one called "one syllable men" hehehe...trekkie? you know i have a bat'leth...yeah i am a geek...ReplyDelete
Omg, a mani virgin! TWO of them, counting Sherry. Wow. If you were closer by, and I had a black van to kidnap you with, you'd both be O.P.I. whores by the end of business today lol.ReplyDelete
You're so cute, Ms. Witch. I really enjoyed reading this!
@FB Does it say anything about my stylishness that I thought O.P.I. was a UN committee?ReplyDelete
@brian I have a bathlet, too. It's right off the master bedroom. Geek.
I'm with Brian-- so many poems there. I had a one syllable last name once. Now I've got the whole hyphenated thing, and it just confuses people.ReplyDelete