I am Stylish Now

 

Shay(Fireblossom) at the Word Garden  has nominated me for some oddball award these crazy young whippersnapper intertubes people pass around, which requires that I bare my soul to a universe of prurient strangers. Oh, I don’t have to write a poem? No, I merely have to list seven unusual, unknown  things about myself. Apparently this process conveys an automatic gift of stylishness which will overcome all natural laws hitherto prevailing in my life, which is about as stylish as a wen on Kate Millhouse’s cheek would be. Oh, it’s Middleton? My bad. Anyway, here are seven diverting and deeply secret things about me which should disqualify me for any kind of stylishness accolades, but seemingly, like so much of life, have the opposite effect:

1. I have never had a manicure. Well, when I was little, my mother sawed my nails off with a dull scissors, and painted them fire engine red a lot, but I’m assuming that doesn’t count.

2. My first pet was a cricket which I caught under the streetlights one night when I was about nine and kept in a little cardboard box. I was devastated when the  Mean Little Boy in the upstairs apartment told me it was not a cricket but a gross giant waterbug. My budding interest in entomolgy died at that point.

3. I have named all my cars. And bikes. And computers. My current computer is called The Beast, and my car is V*ger, as in the Star Trek movie.

4. I  am not a packrat per se, yet I find it impossible to throw out articles of clothing I have worn in some positive and happy context, which have long ago ceased to fit me or ever even remotely have the possibility of being worn again unless we have world famine and I also contract a wasting disease. I have a red velvet mirrored Mexican Wedding Dress from 1969 that is only recognzable as a piece of clothing by supreme efforts of the imagination, yet still sits in my closet, barely holding together enough to stay on the hanger.

5. I had a horrible maiden name which is so secret in my whole life I have only told three people who didn’t know me then. No, I’m not telling it here, either. Suffice it to say, all my married names have been words of one syllable. I won't say I actually chose my husbands for this reason, but it certainly didn't hurt their chances.

6. I love reading and won a prize for reading the most books in my entire school over the course of a year in fourth grade. It’s one of my proudest accomplishments.

7. My least stylish secret: when I was twelve  I promised my grandmother (born in the early 1900’s) never to wear make-up. This request came about because of my mother, who liked to shock her with-- you guessed it-- fire engine red 40’s style lipstick, plucked eyebrows, coal black mascara and bright green eyeshadow. I kept that promise as long as she lived, and seldom wear anything but powder and a little neutral lip gloss even now when I probably desperately need a full paint job.

Many thanks to my dear friend Shay, especially for listing me among her favorite poets, and I am passing this stylish award on to Sherry Blue Sky, at StarDreaming, and even though he's a guy, the most stylish-est of bloggers, Galen (aka the G-Man) at Mr Know-it-All


If this award were instead for most serious, substantive, topical and diverse blog, I would pass it on to my friend, writer, photographer and post-modern Renaissance man, Petteri Sulonen, who runs a little place called Come to think of it, as well as helping me here with my technical issues. He writes on everything from politics to Zen Buddhism with insight and clarity. His current post is on renewable energy, well worth reading.

I'd also like to thank one of my favorite poets,and one of the most gifted, Brendan at  Oran's Well, for including me in a list of twelve recommended online poets. The entire list is well worth exploring for those who love poetry, not least of all  Brendan's own site.