Pastorale
A large panting old woman
chases a small panting old dog
chasing a large indifferent cow
in punishing heat.
chases a small panting old dog
chasing a large indifferent cow
in punishing heat.
It’s slapstick, but you say
there’s a poem here.
I’m looking for it.
Is it
maybe there,
where two beings
exchange a speaking
shared look of
annoyed patience;
shared look of
annoyed patience;
that woman
and someone's dinner?
and someone's dinner?
August 2011
Posted for Friday Flash 55 at the G-Man's
Thanks to Brian Miller, of Waystation One for the inspiration for this one.
oooohh, it's enough to almost make me a vegetarian! almost..;)
ReplyDeleteHedgewitch ...
ReplyDeleteA pensive, bucolic little Gem
Loved your 55 My Friend.
Thank you for playing and for your Great Support,
and have a Kick Ass Week-End
haha...glad you ised this...smiles...i was going to but...lol...here you go...
ReplyDeletemooooving experience
out the door the dog,
followed by a woman
over the fence, at bovine expense
perhaps canine nonsense
she pants
damn its hot, dawg
aint you no sense
oh no, cow seeks recompense
to the house flies the dog
followed close by the woman
the hooved one smiles
as he steps on the keys.
LOL, I love it. Especially the last line.
ReplyDelete- Alice
@G-man--thanks my friend. I've got a cold Dos Equis for ya here somewhere...
ReplyDelete@AA: Brian's was supposed to be funny. Mine wasn't. Thanks anyway.
@Brian--Great title. I like the new trimmed down verse express, delivered to my door. I never carry my keys out into the neighbors pasture though. Fortunately. ;-)
Some 55! :)
ReplyDelete"a speaking
ReplyDeleteshared look"
Love it!
I'm up here.
I keep reading your poem, writing something not meaningful enough in the comment box, deleting the comment, reading your poem, writing something not clever enough in the comment box, deleting the comment, reading your poem
ReplyDeleteYou're terrible, really. I see that sweet picture and think it's so nice, and start reading, then you wrap up cow mom in plastic and stick her in the grocery aisle. As the Morrissey song says, "Why can't you change, change and be nice?"
ReplyDeleteBut you'll probably just go on swinging that bicycle chain. Hey! I need that!
Quite a quandary, that pastorale ... I love the first two stanzas, stretched to grok the second three. 55 words is such a corset ... it must be a mighty struggle to come up with singular words to fill up so much narrative and didactic space. I was left wondering why the woman was chasing the dog in the first place, and why the bovine would "share" that look of "annoyed patience." I've said it here before with these Flash 55 challenges -- they may be perfect mcnuggets for attention starved readers, but compression can only go so far in my poetry book. I would suggest -- humbly, and with great admiration -- that this poem is a cautionary antithesis to the sentiment of today's Form Friday at d'Verse poets. I'm starved for more meat here. Still, a shot o' Hedgewitch is far more quenching than the epical Brendanesque deep sea ... B
ReplyDelete:)
ReplyDeleteLoved the word-play and Brian's follow up! Never a dull moment 'round these parts. And Shay's right... you swing a mean chain :)
ReplyDeleteLove it.
@Ti & FB: Thanks for getting it. I was beginning to think I was speaking a foreign language. ;-)
ReplyDelete@Lydia: I think you left an extremely good comment. Thanks a lot for reading.
@B: Re: your last sentence--I beg to differ-- the cool blue-green ocean depths are extremely appealing right now--but then they always are when you dip your pen in them.
Oh this is too cute. If I wasn't already a vegetarian it would convert me.
ReplyDeleteIt's too hot to chase anything here! :)
ReplyDeleteHave a good weekend.
This took me by surprise and I love it! :)
ReplyDeletei can't bear to think of the living animal that meat of any kind comes from. i'm too much of a carnivore {and maybe too evil} to ever become a vegetarian though.
ReplyDeletegreat 55!
Thanks Dani. I know if I had to kill and prepare my own meat, I would be one, for sure.
ReplyDeleteI love it~
ReplyDeleteNice picture to go along with it too ~
Fun one! I could sure see the fiasco of all that running and panting.
ReplyDeleteI remember once when I was a kid, a whole family of neighbors were chasing their horse down the road in their pyjamas!! :0
I have a 55 up here in case you have time to blog-hop. I know you are busy. I see you are doing that awesome dVerse linking -- looks great. I'll be in one of these days I get down from my wine-drinking tree for longer than usual.
xo
Loved the post!
ReplyDeleteother shoe
This is witty and fun!!!
ReplyDeleteSunday Hugs xoxox