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© Chelsea Bednar
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Melancholy
An Etheree
"'Westron wynde, when wilt thou blow, / The small raine down can raine.
Cryst, if my love were in my armes / And I in my bedde again!"
Cryst, if my love were in my armes / And I in my bedde again!"
~anon, 16th century
brown
twisting
liquid knots
ashen sorrel
all tied with shadow
melting in the mind wrap
rolling up the bruise of stones
the soft erasure, tumbled cells,
skull's last tears, falling where earth swallows
the small rain that runs off a concrete heart
~April 2013
posted for real toads
Challenge: Interpretations with Margaret
The artist's eye of Margaret Bednar comes to help us examine the abstract, to attempt to write not from the visual, but from the felt, Thanks to her, and to the talented Chelsea Bednar for the use of her work.
The Etheree is a syllable-counting poem of ten lines, beginning with one syllable, increasing by one syllable per line, and ending with ten. The invention of the form is attributed to Etheree Taylor Armstrong (1918-1994)
Oooh, i love the depth, but the last line really sealed the deal for me...
ReplyDelete" the small rain that runs off a concrete heart"
Wondrous :D
The concrete nature of the etheree form adds an interesting dimension to this abstract interpretation of the artwork. The word 'sorrel' is just perfect in context.
ReplyDeletethe bruise of stone & concrete heart...i rather like the textures in this hedge as they tell the story and set the mood of your piece...liquid knots is cool as well....
ReplyDeleteThe form completed the mood of the verses! :) wow!
ReplyDeleteMelting in the mind wrap..like this line..also enjoyed the presentation as it flows from line to line.
ReplyDeleteSo glad I returned for the last of the 'Chelsea Art' poems ... would not have wanted to miss this! The 16th Century quote setting the stage for all that followed. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful etheree poem ~ I like the choice of words: ashen sorrel, bruise of stones, skull's last tears, small rain running off the concrete heart ~
ReplyDeleteHi joy, having ridiculous difficulty commenting so will be brief. This is one of the only entered I've ever seen that made sense to me. In terms of why the form was used. It works very well sort of gathering momentum. The close was especially powerful. I am afraid to comment on specifics-- if I move my pho e at all all is lost. K.
ReplyDeletePoor k--I really appreciate you taking the time and making what sounds like a very disproportionate effort in the commenting--thank you very much. I've always thought this was a bit of a silly form--and I'm not too sure this Etheree person ever wrote one--it's not online if she did--but after trying out about ten different ways of saying this particular piece, this turned out to work the best I thought. Good luck on your future posting and commenting till you return to the center of cyberville.
DeleteWOW!!!!!!! By the time one gets to the final two spectacular lines, we've stopped breathing. Oh, that concrete heart line is brilliant!
ReplyDeleteI love the last two lines. "Skull's last tears" is so evocative of pain and death.
ReplyDeleteK
What a cool form. I'm not buying the concrete heart, though, even though that last image works extremely well, poetically. I really liked the poem from antiquity, too. The olde tyme spellings are always fascinating to me.
ReplyDeleteDamn that's good!
ReplyDeleterolling up the bruise of stones, so vivid and I love
ReplyDeleteskull's last tears, falling where earth swallows
just great imagery
the intense visceral impact this has is almost disarming. when you close with the concrete heart, my senses split from my intellect... of course, the heart! still, I admit surprise and delight . this is a wonderful form, too. thank you for the introduction.
ReplyDeletefalling where earth swallows
ReplyDeletethe small rain that runs off a concrete heart
If you think of a rain drop it is solitaire at the top gradually joining the puddle or water it falls in. That's what came to my mind. I find there is something very quiet about this painting... and sad, reminiscent. You really did capture that.
the rain drop ... referring to the shape of the etheree poem.
Delete