Thursday, April 4, 2013

Snail Trail

Apple Snail

Snail Trail

So in this profundity
beer can epiphany
sex cloning elegy
maw-yawning atrophy
born out of apathy
bored and beguiled
trialed in denial,
convicted, shell-jailed,

we see the snail swallow
the world in his trail.
Infinite his prism
within the dead matter
forever dividing his coil from his light,
the slick swollen foot
clings close to his godhead
slopped over creation,

worshipping his own
crustacean ascension,
scumblind as an eye sore
to the swoop
of the crow
the black abbess who buries
him shell, foot and all

deep in the chapel
of her throaty pink craw.

~April 2013

Snail 2

posted for   real toads
 Out of Standard: Film School Drop Out Edition
The ever-enigmatic Isadore Gruye has presented us with a Justin Timberlake film clip;no fault to her, him or the film that this was all I could get from it. You can see it at the link above.

also written with more than a dollop of irony for
Poetics at   dVerse Poets.

Optional Musical Accompaniment

Hover mouse for image attribution, or click to go to photographer's flick'r page.


  1. Love it!Only you could express such depth to a video of JT and a beer can.

  2. Woman, is there no end to your brilliance? I mean..who thinks of the noble snail of nihilism slowly gobbling up the world as antidote to beer can epiphany/sex cloning elegy? This poem is a very potent vision of end days, and so unique as to stand alone from its prompt, while doing a fabulous job of answering it.


  3. brilliant word play, each phrase bringing to my mind specific views and personal experiences. I have a fondness for snails, a deep unexplainable fondness and sincerely appreciate the spiritual reverence in your last two lines.

  4. ha, a bit of how you play with the pacing in this hedge...the first stanza has some nice clipped rhymes but you switch it up and allow us to focus on the snail...just watch out for salt you know...smiles...or crows ready to gobble one up...i find it interesting the snail is a him and the crow a her...following my slime trail off now before someone gets

  5. scumblind? love that.
    and also, thanks for the earworm (earsnail? ick)
    everybody knows this is nowhere.... la la la la la la la la

  6. oh heck...not sure if i got this right but my mom always used beer to catch the snail swallowing
    the world in his trail.... and cool to see you at dVerse..

  7. " we see the snail swallow
    the world in his trail."

    how do you think of such things... great detail

  8. Not everyone can develop such an erudite poem about a snail. Like Claudia, my mom waged war on the poor creatures. She lives at the beach and they destroyed her garden. The line "worshiping his own crustacean ascension" got me thinking on how the lowliest of us see ourselves as so much more than we might be. And yet, if we are just who we are...we are divine.

  9. No matter how highly we think of ourselves, the same end awaits us all. Nice capture - although how you got here from Justin Timberlake and a beer can, I'll never know.

  10. I love how your mind worked here, lots of great lines,, a real hit with me too. Very clever take on the challenge,,

  11. My word. You do know I'm crawly-thing phobic, right?

    You put your unique touch on what I found to be a very challenging challenge.

  12. A great write, Joy. Your imagination is limitless.

  13. A nice write..really enjoyed the second stanza..

  14. Fantastic, Joy. Someone else already said "brilliant" and I second it.

  15. Slime divine in this slithering snail song of serendipity! So vibrant and provocative!

  16. Brilliantly done...what an imagination. Loved it!

  17. um..OMG...this is so stunning, I am honored to even think it was inspired by one of my prompts. I love the introduction of the snail, the maw-yawing atrophy, and the soft pink jaw which consumes us all at the end. I could live in this poem, hedgey. Viva la

  18. "Time flies when you're flying." Ha! Why have I not noticed that before? :)

    Really nice turn of events. Sinister, as always.

    I really like these sections:

    "clings close to his godhead
    slopped over creation"

    "scumblind as an eye sore
    to the swoop
    of the crow"

    To me, this is a commentary on those who worship religion itself, thinking they are gaining the world when really they are being eaten while they think they are eating, so to speak. It kind of reminds me of the Tower of Babel outcome, people making themselves gods. That never ends well.

  19. Well done, Hedge, and good on you for taking the prompt in a whole new direction. Your use of the rhymes was striking - especially "atrophy" and "apathy." An all-around great write, and I didn't miss the religious overtones. They only added to my enjoyment! Peace, Amy

  20. I am terrified of snails, Joy Ann, but this write is spot on. You have one hell of an imagination.


  21. I once stepped on one of these slick swollen foot entities and his matter slopped everywhere! Ick.....I like the deep chapel in the throaty pink craw.

  22. Agh lost three comments. I like . Blogger not letting me do this. Karin aka manicddaily

    1. Sorry K--good to know you're out there and hope the trip is going well--thanks for reading, and a pox upon the whole blogger machine.

  23. Love the word play and the surreal imagery -- and the way you've modulated it to fit both prompts. All evry clever and a very rewarding read. Superb work.

  24. Well it's certainly entertaining.

  25. Felt like a projection of our own potential situation - we slop about the place too.

  26. great poetry!! especially liked the first and third stanzas, brilliant use of words

    First Rose

  27. Like the sound of:
    "bored and beguiled
    trialed in denial,"
    Nice words and with a message as well.

  28. I love love your use of language!

  29. worshipping his own
    crustacean ascension,

    but gobbled up by the black crow (which is a female) Gotta love that! He wasn't so grand after all.


"We make out of the quarrel with others, rhetoric, out of the quarrel with ourselves, poetry." ~William Butler Yeats